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The Horrors That Hide by Julianna Rowe (coming Soon)
Showing posts with label The maple flavored heart attack..... Show all posts
Showing posts with label The maple flavored heart attack..... Show all posts

Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Marvelous Memory of the Maple Creme Egg......by Diane Ogden

Who cares huh?  When I was a child I loved maple anything.  Maple syrup, maple cookies, and I stabbed the bottom of every piece of chocolate in the huge box at Christmas with a knife until I found the maple piece.  After a few years I learned it was always the round one with one swirl almost full circle but not quite.  I loved maple frosting, maple ice cream, maple candy drops, maple flavored hickory smoked bacon, maple oatmeal, maple flavored brussell sprouts, and lollipops!   The chocolate cake with maple flavored fluffy frosting was the killer deal. And of course the maple cream Easter egg. I quit eating all that sugary maple many years ago, and then something happened to me today. Maybe it was a maple demon.
I had to run to the Walgreen's for some plastic jugged water and some tummy pills.  Change of season always messes with a touchy tummy.  Back to my point.  There it was, at least a hundred Russell Stover Cream Eggs spread out over a half of isle 3, third shelf up right at eye level.  Didn't even need to bend over.  Wont be able to bend over if I don't stay away from said isle.  I scanned each little box searching for the word maple.  I found butter creme, peanut butter creme, coconut, vanilla, peach, lemon, orange, chocolate, and finally  ("drum roll please") there it lay among thirty other ones.  I just stared at them in awe thinking don't do it, don't do it.  Of course I was going to do it!  I didn't scan the entire length of that shelf for nothing.  It was a lousy memory that caused this moment of weakness or the maple demon. I reached into the box and took one out.  Then I took out another one.  That = two!  I told myself I would take one bite and put it away when I got outside and into my car.  But what I really did was eat the whole thing before I got out the driveway and up to the first light.  I tried to savor it and move it around my taste buds for a long time but it didn't work.  My brain went into maple overdrive and it was history.  Do recall I have another one!  I truly doubt I will enter the Walgreen's again until after Easter because I am a maple flavored failure. I will say since the last Maple flavored Russell Stover Creme egg I ate, which was twenty some plus years ago.......Mr Stover has changed the consistency of the maple creme.  It is now filled with air.  It is spongy and thin.  Used to be thick and creamy.  Not so much no more.  Wonder if that means it has less killer calories and may not clog my heart arteries!  Right! The good news:  I enjoyed the heck out of that spongy maple air thing.
So Be Happy, Be Well, and Be Safe until we meet again.  And if we don't, you'll know what happened.  (I am not going to have a maple flavored heart attack) Just kidding