(Sometimes I hear from the Spirit or Spirits beyond. This special man named Emil came to me at 4:30 one morning. He told me this story among others. His name is Emil and I am sharing what he told me)
Do you recall when I shared with you my last day on earth? Now allow me to share with you what I watched a few days after my passing.
I was in a suspended state. No particularly beautiful golden buildings like I had heard one see’s after passing. No animals. My Mother was not there to greet me, nor was anyone. I was somewhat afraid and somewhat not afraid. I figured this was the three day deal that Jesus mentioned happened to him after he passed on. You know, died on the cross, was buried and three days later resurrected. I was living those three days is all I could figure. I didn’t have to eat, or use the bathroom. I was not hot or cold. I just was.
I found myself hovering over the old homestead. The last place I lived before the Nursing Home or better put, the Dying Mill. A couple of the kids had maintained it minimally in my absence. I would say this would count as an absence for sure Miss Julie. Anyway…….I sensed I was where I was supposed to be. Hovering. I did wonder why yet there was nowhere else to go so I hovered.
And then it happened. The kids arrived one by one of the few that were left on earth. They parked and then made their way into the house and the barn. Everyone was looking for something. I watched as they acted as though they had to rush. To hurry and find something and if there wasn’t anything to find they needed to rush faster like they had an important place to be besides the place their father lived and breathed most of his life. They rustled through every drawer. They pulled out big black trash bags and stuffed my and some of Ma’s things I hadn’t given away to the needy into the black bags. The same color bags they put my old dead body into after they were sure it had passed. I guessed the property I left among the living was also dead. It had meant a lot to ma and I…..
I was able to see in two different places at once. I watched the digging/throwing scene in the barn and in the house at the same time. A couple of the horse harnesses were discussed among the clean out crew of children. They decided to donate them to a nearby stable which was about the only thing thus far that pleased my spirit. Those reins and harnesses plowed many a rock hard field. My mares pulled hard on the plow as I held equally hard the handles. We were a team those mares and I. We worked a field all day tilling up the ground for planting time. And when I put those seeds in the ground I kissed them and I blessed each and every one for a bountiful return.
What I was viewing this day was impatient greed. Those kids I seeded and prayed over had a mind of their own unlike the corn and the wheat that listened and obeyed. Who grew and fed those same kids who were now disrespecting their heritage.
I found it interesting that I did not experience any emotions. No anger at them dropping my boot in the driveway to be left for a stranger to find sometime in the future. A stranger that had no idea where that boot had been. The fields it had trudged through. The anger my wife spilled over because of the mud it brought into the house. Or the pain of the foot that it held for the overworked days. Yes my boot was seen by a few workers who plowed down the old homestead making it ready for a new neighborhood of homes making way for the life cycle to move on.
I was okay with watching all of this until the kids started going through ma and my personal effects. I made sure to keep the box of photos ma made me promise to keep. And a few pieces of jewelry here and there. Many articles that represented our lives together for over 65 years but that seemed to mean very little to the kids. And so they began stuffing our life long treasures into those black dead bags. Oh they kept a few items of value like my gold watch and tie tack. They had no interest in the socks ma sat for hours and darned. No interest in the books we read to each other on cold winter nights. No interest in the quilt ma made out of our old clothes that kept us warm and who underneath we made love and created them. No the quilt was tattered and worn so it went in the dead bag just like I did.
After a day of hovering and watching the children I created throw away my life I wondered what was next. And even though I watched the disintegration of my life long property thrown away I had no emotion. I did remember what emotion was and rather waited for it to come upon me but it never did. It was sort of like a doctor gave me a pill that killed all my emotions. Yet I had feelings. The darndest thing Miss Julie. Almost can’t explain it.
So there I was suspended in time, hovering, watching, and loving them in spite of their lack of caring for anything that was not gold or silver.