Sunday, July 14, 2013

I Saw Elvis outside the Grocery Store Today........by Diane Ogden

I always try to go shopping before noon on Sunday to miss the rush.  The rush of the church goer's of all colors and faiths.  The non white church goer's are fun and enjoyable because they dress for Jesus!  From the babies to big boys, all decked out in the finest colors, materials, hats, bows, ties, and best of all shoes shined to the moon and back.  But I still try to beat even that rush.  And I am talking a rush of all meanings because they make me happy too. 

Today was an odd day.  I should have checked the moon and such because while walking thru the store I noticed people's faces.  Not that I never notice faces but today was totally unusual.  If I had ever wanted to be able to pull out my camera it was today.  But who can do that in the middle of the store, go to shooting pics of people that know what your doing!!  Why?  Because to day was face making day.  I saw one man with his face so scrunched up while he was self checking out I actually couldn't read it.  His face that is.  He was mad, confused, sick, frustrated, and looked like Jack Nicholson after a few too many and without the smiley smirk. 
Then there were the little old ladies that looked so lost I wondered how they would find their way home.  Or even outta there.
 So right away I prayed that wont happen to me. 

Children were making sounds that were not human.  One father was pushing a cart with a seat for his 8-9 year old son.  He was driving that thing like a maniac.  Or least a race car driver......weaving in and out of other carts.  After he passed another man pushing his son appropriately toward me I pretended I had a steering wheel in my hand and I was swerving around like the man and boy with the kid carrier cart.  He laughed at me and probably went home and told his wife he saw a crazy lady at the store driving her cart like a race car.  Naw he knew I was mocking the racer man.  Jerk he was for sure.  The faces were unsure, sad, insecure, mad, sick, and just plain ornery too.   Only a few smiled today. 

Next time I am going later so I can see the other color folks cause they are always happy.  Even though they are louder than loud, holler at their youngen's all through the store,  park right in front for an hour waiting for each other, but all in all they "is" happy. 

 
Okay so I am finished shopping and still upset I couldn't pull out my camera when I walk outside toward my new used vehicle.  And low and Lord behold, there he was in living God color sitting right next to my new used truckie, in his big old truck with sideburns the size of Texas and fat and low as old Mexico!  Oh and black as the ace of spades.  His hair that is.  Big hair, tall hair.  O M G I would have given a weeks wages to have been able to pull out my camera on this one.  Elvis was sitting ten feet from my being and I couldn't get a photo.  My mind raced as to how I could sneak one in.  Wasn't a way!  He was a big one too....a big Elvis.  Big truck, big hair, big man, big!  It was at that point I knew there had to be astral things going on up there.  Seriously what would a man that looked like that do for a living?   Dentist - notsomuch.  Nurse - no, no, no.  Computer tech - NO WAY!  Dancer - hum maybe, "Elvis the Pelvis."   Salesman - notachance.  Farmer - Could be.  Construction - possibly but nawh.  Bartender!  Bingo betcha. Or a Bouncer, that's it!  Whatever, he knew I was starring at him and he never smiled or flinched.  He was parked in HANDICAPPED.  Maybe not a bouncer or maybe an illegal one.

 I may have to invest in a mini camera so I can catch some of these amazing shots.  This photo was the closest one I could find to what he looked like.  Only FULLER sideburns. Made my day I tell ya.  I needed a laugh and I got one or more. Maybe this was one of those "You had to be there ones."

Laters......
photos from: roogirl.com    and   crownsmusical.eventbrite.com   and my personal web cam
 
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