Thursday, June 13, 2013

Boobs That Speak............... by Diane Ogden

Okay so don't you think the boobs on this page are speaking.  They are Madonna type boobs.  And O M G look at those girdles.  God said to gird up your loins and some designer totally misunderstood.  Not sure what the good book says about boobs...  oh Solomon:

3 Your breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. 4 Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon by the gate of Bath Rabbim. Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus. 5 Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel. Your hair is like royal tapestry; the king is held captive by its tresses. 6 How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights! 7 Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. 8 I said, "I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit." May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples
Well let me say those breasts inside that armor do not appear like fawns, or twins of a gazelle, of clusters of the vine.  Ya think?  I wore a bra similar to that in high school and I wore a girdle, but it had separate leg openings. In fact wore it to Prom where it was probably removed sometime after midnight.  Or am I lying?  I cant imagine getting that thing off anyhow or way.  Looks like, and if I remember correctly it was like putting your hand into a finger cot.  Or like trying to put your car in the dryer...for lack of a better "splainatory." You could get one leg in and then forget getting the other one in.  It had to be two at a time, and then pull up with all your might.  I know that is what caused my back issues. LOL.    
And check out the price.  $7.50.  Why I cant buy a pound of organic meat for that price.   Or a pair of good socks.  Or good chocolate and on and on. 

Who ever came up with such nonsense for us women.  Who?
Who said it was okay to truss up like a work horse.  A good bra
(brassier) is one thing, but bullet shooters an all together a diff-
erent deal.  I am surprised Christian Grey didn't use these girdle's and brassier's on Anastasia Steele
in 50 Shades of Grey.  That is how I view them.  Like painful equipment before sex.  Yup......just like Prom for millions of girls back in the 50's. 
I was searching for some photo's from the 40's (I wasn't born then) Liar Liar pants on fire)
Okay so it was the LATE 40's, and I ran across these two pictures I knew I would have to save for some sort of a blogpost.  And here it is. 
At least the latest in girdles are not painful.  They are called SPANX...  hum, back to the 50 Shades of Grey again!   I seem to have hit on something. 

Notice the caption under the photo below:  "YOURS FOR A GLORIFIED LIFETIME.  L O L  And then under that line it says:  ....with LIFE'S magic fit, all the way.   I am laughing myself silly at how they put these words together. Key words just like on the internet now in 2013!  MAGIC, ALL THE WAY, (back in the 50's when a person heard "all the way" it meant sex.  Hey, did you guys "go all the way?"  It mean intercourse.  No, really, that is the truth.  Cross my heart.  Funny me, that's the name of a brassier.  Wait, its Cross Your Heart.  More key words tuned for bigger sales. How about one called, Cross Your Fawns?  I better not be making funnies about the Bible.  Erase Erase
Til next time, be well, be safe, be happy, and get rich so you can buy Spanx.  They don't hurt. 
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