Thursday, May 23, 2013

So I was to pick up my new used SUV this evening. Used Car Manager calls me and tells me he gets off at two and that my SUV will be delivered to them from the body shop (they repaired a keyed scratch) at five. I can come anytime after that. All I could think was omg the traffic from far west side to far east side at that time would be nutz. So I waited until 6:30. Gracie Allen, my 6 lb. dog and I drove cross town to said dealership. Got there and no one knew where my new used SUV was. I even walked the lot myself searching for my new used SUV. Nadda.


Everyone was looking for her (the new used SUV). Then the night manager called the day manager who showed up REAL FAST for mama mia... He searched for my new used SUV with no luck. Then he drove to the body shop down the road and drove back to tell me my new used SUV was behind locked gates and he was sure it would be delivered in the morning. I tell ya.....42 miles....well maybe 35 miles back and forth = 70 every time and I have two more times to go. Once to pick up my new used SUV no one could find.....and another to pic up my really used paid for BUICK with no plates. Okay....while the used car manager was out searching for my new used SUV I had to use the rest room. I had brought my lil dog Gracie along so off we went to the rest room. Why do they call it the rest room. I sure as heck am not in any sort of resting mode while squatting over a white porcelain or fiberglass pot! In fact while squatting, legs spread, pants grabbed so as not to have them catch the rain, all the while trying to bend down to find the one tissue link to grab and pull, all the while praying the one link doesn't tear and leave you to start all over.... I pulled, I got several links thank God. But I felt something wet on my right leg. I tucked my head down and looked between my legs to see turlet and noticed it to be off center between my legs. OMG I was not centered. I moved the body over a couple inches but noticed it might be too late. The poor maintenance man!! Who I have gotten to know from being at the dealership LATE so many times.

I only hope he didn't notice me going in there as he was next door at the men's rest room cleaning. Why is it called a rest room? No magazine racks that I noticed. And only low rise tissue holders. Should be electric ones like the hand towels. Motion detector toilet tissue. But then I suppose the floor would be totally decorated like a teens homecoming trees in their yards... "You been papered!"

Regardless, I finished......went to pick up my dog and put her right back down. I had peed miscentered, hit the edge of the seat which then sprayed all over my 6 lb. dog Gracie Allen. She didn't seem to mind, except she did sneeze a couple times.. I proceeded to PURELL my hands and my dogs back.....and then out we went to find out what solution to this situation was available...I know....I cant believe it either.

The manager knew the loaner 2013 Honda Civic he had given me two days ago while they repaired the long scratch on my now signed for new used SUV was hard for me to get in and out of. It is too low like a corvette and I am no youngen any more.... So he said he recalled me saying the Civic was hard to get in and out of so how about a new CRV.. OMG..... I said, "So isn't this going to ruin the feel of my new used Honda SUV? He laughed and said, "This one costs WAY MORE!. Gracie and I drove home on CLOUD NINETY NINE THOUSAND. I listened to XM comedy out of Canada and laughed all the way home. I don't want to go back and pick up my new used SUV Honda but I will and I will be happy... Poor dog! Always make sure you are centered when squatting in public REST ROOMS with no mag racks.  Those aren't rest rooms for craps sakes.  Oh that was a good line!!
So Be Happy, Be Safe, Be Well, and Get Rich so you can buy the brand new SUV with XM radio!!
Laters
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