Sunday, March 24, 2013

FABIO...........................(NOT!) by Diane Ogden

 

I am going to buy this! Why not? Maybe because it has a train humm. Cant you just picture it: An 8 x 10 glossy of me walking around my living area with a train on my robe dragging behind me?
My cats would love it without a doubt, in fact they would destroy it within a week... yes they have nails. And there is no one to look at me in it except me and the animals. I could go get the mail in it I suppose. Or I could take the dog out and let it drag around on the cement and the grass. Heck I could wear that to the store. Dragging it through the isles cleaning the floors...little children would even stare.  Not that I need that or could even imagine it.
Not to mention folks with any sense at all would stare. Some might think I had been to a wedding. Some would think I was going out to a ball. Others would just stare in disbelief and awe. Maybe I would add a hat, nah. What sort of shoes would I add to my robe ensemble? Can you picture me pushing a luggy loud stainless steel cart in this gorgeous thang. All I would need to finish it off would be what's his name?? That guy that does butter commercials now. The one with the long hair on the cover of Romance novels. No I don't read those, Yes maybe I should so I wouldn't have these outlandish purchasing ideas. What is his name? F A B I O! eeewww. Maybe I wont buy it after all. I cant see it happening. Wont go with the car wash or the store or a movie or walking the dog or much of anything really. I could hang it on the wall... I really wanted this, it's so me without the Fabio butter guy. Actually I am into the Ford Man now. Not so sure he would go for this either. Unless I took it off of course. Guess I don't need it no matter how hard I try to have it.
And I really am not a person who requires so much attention. Although some is nice. With or without the robe.  Why would the robe-maker put a train on this robe?  Suppose it belongs in one of those huge Victorian homes in the small town somewhere.  But then so do I.  So until laters, be safe, be happy, be well, and get rich so you can buy a huge Victorian house to go with your new robe. 
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