Monday, March 4, 2013

Creamy Alfredo Accident...............by Diane Ogden

 
Creamy Alfredo Accident reenactment below:  I dug in the garbage and got the jar of Alfredo out and poured the old leftover dry coleslaw in the colander to retake the blurry boo boo photo I took last night. See below: (duh)
 
So why am I posting a photo of shredded cabbage and carrots with a bottle of Classico Alfredo and Lighthouse Cole Slaw Dressing sitting on the back of my sink?  Because I had the dry coleslaw in that white bowl ready to mix it all up with the dressing, which I did.  I was stirring it up when the aroma of creme drifted up into and or past my nasal passages which said to my brain, "Humm that smells like a dairy product and I am dairy intolerant so my brain and my nose knows.  I ceased all stirring and slowly turned my head back and forth viewing the air and counter in hopes of seeing something that might have caused this smell in my coleslaw I was readying to take with me to work tomorrow.  And there is was.  Yup.  There it stood all mighty and proud of itself for ruining my coleslaw and carrots.  I quickly grabbed the colander, shit I cant spell that....and dumped the Alfredo raw cabbage and carrots into it and started running cold water over it in great hopes of getting all the Alfredo off every piece.  Funny me huh?
That is when my daughter text me and said, "Mom go to your room and hide while I bring Karli (Granddaughter) in and put her to bed"  If she sees me she wont go to bed!  That is when I fell asleep and had no thoughts or dreams about Alfredo or Cole Slaw, (I did see my dead x husband in a dream,)  until morning when I saw them still sitting in the same place I left them the night before.  I had a momentary thought of continuing the rinsing process and then another momentary thought of laying in a hospital with E-coli or Salmonila and then death by stupidity.  That said, I dumped it all out. Stopped by the store today and purchased new bags of carrots and slaw.  We're good now.

So 'til next time I mix up something incorrectly or find something funny, be safe, be happy, be well, and get rich so you can have a cook, or order out every day, or pay for your daughter an apartment of her own so there wont be any unexpected jars of things you are allergic to in the refrigerator.  Amen  
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