Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Bob!...............by Diane Ogden


 My daughter called me last Sunday while visiting her Grandmummie at the funny farm where I was raised.  She was all excited and drama-ed out over a female cat someone dropped off out there about two months ago.  "Why cant people just be nice!"  This is obviously a house cat and this is Wisconsin in March not to mention this months two plus snowstorms.  The little girl had a gauge under his eye (she got real lucky on that one) and mites in her ears and a bad UTI. (Urinary Tract Infection)  How do I know this?  Well let me tell you how. 

I strongly suggested and recommended she, my daughter to leave the cat there at the funny farm and we will get some antibiotics from the Vet and Grandmummie dearest can put it in her food.  No more was discussed except that she came home with the cat in a carrier.  Might I also mention her other cat I have been babysitting for the past year and three months went totally ballistic.  Tried to attack my daughter and anyone or any thing near her.  She was pissed and carrying a load of anxiety ready to kill!  She was literally growling.  So new cat went behind daughters closed bedroom door.  I was rather angry to say the least. 

I started calling all around to see who might take her in.  P.S. I thought it was a her because daughter said she was about to have a litter and something long and pink and bloody was starting to come out.  SERIOUSLY!  That is a penis not a female cat birthing..... for God (or Charles) sakes.  And this cat has a bladder infection or is blocked up.  My brain is going Cha Chink Cha Chink Oh shitski! This should not be my problem.  But it was.  The emergency animal clinic quoted me $1,500 - $2,000 for surgery if a urinary blockage.  So I told the cat it couldn't die overnight.  Not on my watch please.   (Bob is not feeling so good in photo)

I called my vet early in the morning, stuck the cat into the carrier and off I went I think in hopes of free help for him all the while knowing that was not going to happen.  WHY ME?  Then I thought, oh stop it, it isn't cancer or shit like that.  So I shut up and drove onto the vets.  Wait, I thought of something else while driving there.  He has no name.  He has a penis.  Names came to me like Steve, (Steven Tyler) Fred, Sam, (Sam Champion GMA), and so on.  Then out of the universe sailed the word BOB!  My good friends Jim and Jackie Sullivan of Marco Island, Florida named their cat Bob Sullivan. So I said,  "Bob, Bob Ogden it is."  And then I started to laugh.  Its so perfect it funny. 

We arrive at the Veterinarian and they asked me if the cat had a name.  I perked right up proudly and said, "Yup, it's Bob, Bob Ogden."  And two of them started to laugh.  I don't know why but Bob makes people laugh.  They took him away and I went off to work trying not to think about the estimate I was just handed.

 During the day I rec'd two or three phone calls from the Vet Office about Bob.  The good news, no crystals, no surgery, no blockage but a roaring UTI infection and an injured area around the eye.  Each phone call I was told how much they love Bob. Everyone that meets Bob loves Bob.   I asked them to check Bob's ears and they forgot so today Bob and I trekked back to find out he also has mites.  AND so far the total is $350.00. Would you believe, yes you would. The TINY squeezie of eye ointment was $50 and the small amount of powder to be mixed with free water was $50.

Oh, and BOB HAS BALLS.  Yup.  Balls that have to come off.  And his poo needs to be checked for bugs.  ($28.00 hell of a deal because she loves Bob)  Not for the ball removal, no no, for the poo check.  And no charge today for the office call for mites cause they love Bob and because they forgot to do it the other day. 

Bob lets me give him his meds and never fusses. Bob lets me put ointment in his eye and never fusses.  Bob gets right in his carrier and never fusses.  That's my Bob!  When we walked into the clinic his Vet walked right over, squatted down, and said, "There's my cutsie petutsie!  I think Bob is blessed. 

Maybe Bob and I will go on the road.  Doing what?  I don't know, Bob makes people laugh and so do I....   We'll just set up on a corner and put a cup out there like the blind guy.  I 'll put an outfit on Bob.  Maybe I will sing a few tunes, tell a few stories.  Ya like really?  Not!  Hey Bob is blessed.  It'd work.

So I did a good deed...  Wonder what "cat KARMA" gives back.  I bet its good, cause hey, this is Bob we're talking about. 

Hey Be Safe, Be Well, Be Happy, and Be Blessed like me!  And for Charles sakes, get rich so you can also pay for heartworm check, vaccines, dental work and a range of other things Bob might need but can live without until.........  we put that cup out there.  LOL  Laters
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