Friday, January 18, 2013

My Masks...............................by Diane Ogden

 
What if you could wear a mask, leave your home, and no one would recognize you no matter where you went?  Who would you be?  Would you be the you that you are everyday?  Or, would the mask hide the person life has molded you into?  Obviously I didn't have a very cool mask to use for my little story.  This mask belongs to my Grandchildren.  I dug it out of the play box just for this!  I look cross eyed and yes I am all hunched up with Grannie and Grandad looking on behind me.  But seriously.  Take me for instance.  (Oh God here we go Rose!)  I could stand to have an extra dose  or two of confidence.  I wont blame my mother or anyone that ever bullied me. (The hell I wont!) I wont blame all the self hypnosis tapes and self help books I have read and listened to that didn't work.  (The hell I wont, I paid good money for them)  I wont blame God or my brother or old Uncle Albert. (Ohhh nooo, not this time no blame)  They, the writers, the people who say they know it all, and OPRAH all say I must own it. It being whatever I have done forever. Even if I didn't know I did it....dang I own it!  
I own whatever mess I have made. And I am supposed to find my authentic self.  Is that the one from the womb or the books and tapes?  IDK.  But if I could put on a real mask where no one new it was me......who would I really be.  Would I be happier, would I be sadder, (sounds like that old Peggy Lee song, "Is That All There Is My Friend!")  I personally think I would be different.  That is why actors do so well.  They are not being themselves.  I would be a bit crazy acting I think.  Laugh more.  Do stand up then if I wasn't any good no one would know it was me that wasn't any good.  And oh my of course that has nothing to do with anyone every telling me that all the time growing up ......OPRAH! The way I see it, some can overcome and go the distance like in Field of Dreams....and some have a lil extra difficulty doing that.  Me..... I'm good.  Just need to get out more.  I love an audience and I am my own audience too much of the time.   I don't need a mask.  Do you?  I think dying might be a bit like wearing a mask.  Then you get to be your authentic self except no one will know it.  Or see it.  Don't need a mask then Fred......toooooo late mate! Be well, Be Happy, Be Safe, and get rich and buy a fancy mask and go about one day being the rest of the person hiding inside you.  Or not... 
 
IS THAT ALL THERE IS MY FRIEND 
I remember when I was a very little girl, our house caught on fire.
I'll never forget the look on my father's face as he gathered me up
in his arms and raced through the burning building out to the pavement.
I stood there shivering in my pajamas and watched the whole world go up in flames.
And when it was all over I said to myself, "Is that all there is to a fire?"

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is

And when I was 12 years old, my father took me to the circus, the greatest show on earth.
There were clowns and elephants and dancing bears
And a beautiful lady in pink tights flew high above our heads.
And as I sat there watching the marvelous spectacle
I had the feeling that something was missing.
I don't know what, but when it was over,
I said to myself, "Is that all there is to a circus?"

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is

Then I fell in love, with the most wonderful boy in the world.
We would take long walks by the river or just sit for hours gazing into each other's eyes.
We were so very much in love.
Then one day, he went away. And I thought I'd die -- but I didn't.
And when I didn't I said to myself, "Is that all there is to love?"

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing

I know what you must be saying to yourselves.
If that's the way she feels about it why doesn't she just end it all?
Oh, no. Not me. I'm in no hurry for that final disappointment.
For I know just as well as I'm standing here talking to you,
when that final moment comes and I'm breathing my lst breath, I'll be saying to myself,

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is
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