Saturday, January 26, 2013
He Loves Me, He Wants to Kiss Me!.........by Diane Ogden
I was in Wal Mart the other day (you know when purchasing the famous blood pressure cuff from China) when at the checkout I was spoken to by a man that resembledthe these two men. In other words it wasn't either of these men, but if you shook these two up in a bottle it would be the one that came out that was speaking to me. At first he was speaking to the cashier. He was buying a pack of cigarettes that considering the price I noticed next to them, they must be gold plated like his front tooth. The cashier was from another country (imagine that) and couldn't understand why he was messing with a one dollar bill when he only owed 37 cents. It was a joke from beginning to end. And no there was not a full moon. I rarely go to Wal Mart World when there is a full moon. It is terrifying to say the least. Okay back to He Loves Me! After much a dew (how do you spell a do?) he paid the 37 cents with the change from his pocket per her instructions, or I should say her orders as she told him to get it from his pocket, she could hear a lot of money moving around down there. Seriously! I had my suspicions as to why and what things were moving around down there but shut my mouth and call me Carol! I wasn't adding anything to that mess. That is when he turned slowly and stopped all activity while looking into my lovely eyes and said, "ARE YOU MARRIED?" Now I know what struck dumbfounded means. I was indeed struck dumbfounded. I opened my mouth to say yes while shaking my head no as I tried to get my brain to tell my head to stop moving and start lying. I said, "How old are you?" He replied...."47." I said, "I could be your MOTHA..LOL I really said Mother....Ewww Eww." He walked away with shame between his legs. And I once again vowed never to return to that place again. Until I need some Chinese meds with asphalt and or paint fillers. Oh Lord!
So kids, Be Happy, Be Safe (don't go the Wal Mart) and Be Well, (don't go to WalMart) and for God sake and your own, get rich so you can go to Walgreens or Eckerds, the second unsafest place to buy meds. Not that anywhere is safe anymore...
Photos from: http://www.thisisthenuts.com/form.html?recode=4219 and www.article.com