Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Charles............ by Diane Ogden
I used to call Charles God and talk on and on to him and get mad at him too. It was when I would say things I felt I shouldn't "outta" say to God when angry. That is when I changed God's name to Charles. We get on much better now. I was raised a Catholic Lutheran. That's a Lutheran that acts like a Catholic but wont admit it. You know, all puffed up and proper and serious not allowing a guitar or a set of drums in the ornate sanctuary. Oh Lord no. That being said I have a problem talking to God like he's me buddy / Daddy / bestie....so I changed his name. Now Charles and I have a gay ole time. I talk to him in my car, in my kitchen, in the grocery store. Wouldn't want anyone to think I talk to myself so I say, "Charles, what the heck are we gonna cook up this week?" Charles never answers but I know the answers. I just need Charles to be there and listen and let my words bounce off him and back to me. So today I said, "OMG Charles, I have to write a blog post about you. You are one amazing invisible friend. And you are always right about most everything. Good man Charles." Or: In the dead of night if I hear something. I say, "Shit Charles, whatdoyathink it is? Should I get the hammer out? Wait......I think its gone. Its gone Charles, we can go back to sleep now. By the way I need favor tomorrow at the Clark's house. Thanks big guy."
Some days its: "Don't give me any crap Charles. I have had it and I mean it. Just tell me what the blazes I am going to do about this."
Actually I only talk to Charles on occasion. Ha.... not like 24/7 or anything. But its fun when I do because I like to hear myself act out and do the different verbal accents. I bet Charles gets a kick out of it too. Whoever he is. I just realized I do not know what Charles looks like. Weird .....if I do say so myself. I guess I never needed to pull up his face. He's good like he is. So until I remember another weird part of my life or something happy, fun, or interesting. Be Well, Be Safe, and Be Happy. Charles and I are! And get rich so you can hire a really good shrink just in case you need one. I don't. (I was blessed with an amazing and fun imagination)