Thursday, November 29, 2012

I Flippin Ran Out of Gas!!..........by Diane Ogden

Intelligent people do not run out of gas in the middle of rush hour traffic!  Well I am intelligent and I ran out of gas in the middle of rush hour traffic in the only available left turning lane.  I was so upset I said words they say in prisons!  My helper was riding with me which didn't seem to matter to the non existent filter between my mouth and my brain. 
 I couldn't find the non emergency Police number in my smart phone.  So I did the next best unintelligent thing of my morning and dialed 911.  When the operator answered I quickly stated, THIS IS NOT AN EMERGENCY.  Like heck it wasn't, just wasn't life or death.  I would have given a lot of $ to have had the senses to take photos of the faces people were making at us.  My helper wanted to crawl to the floor. Me, I was the driver so blame city was on my ass for sure.  No getting out of this one MaMa.  That is when in my rear view mirror I see a blue and white with flashings as well as with two wheels on the curb and grass trying to motivate through the mess of traffic I personally have created.  He parks, calmly gets out, puts his coat on, walks over and asks me what I would like to do ?   I wanted to make many funnies but I told myself as he was walking to the car, "Do not make jokes Diane! No jokes here."  And so I politely said I wasn't sure how to handle such a situation sir.  He told me to sit tight a minute and walked away.  Like I wasn't sitting tight.  Every muscle in my body was tight.  That is when another large yellow and white truck came up behind me as the officer pulled back a car length.  We were asked if we would like a ride to the gas station in all great hopes that was the only thing wrong.  You see my gas gauge is broken.  To repair it costs $500 plus. (have to take the dash apart)  And then my trip set digital light died so I cant use the mileage to gauge my gas usage.  I usually know when to get gas but FORGOT my daughter borrowed the Buick  when her car was in shop and she drove a good distance.  Whalla therein lies the answer to why this happened. 

Of course that did not make it any less embarrassing.  So we get to the gas station and we cant figure out how to get the gas can spout off.  Had to ask the foreigner inside who knew how.  Add it to the list of todays lack of intellect morning mishaps.  Then back in the squad car which was such a joy!  BARS! OMG! And a fairly dirty Plexiglas between us and "him."  I must say he was a very nice policeman for a change.  Some I have encountered are not. And for the record I have no idea how a person of weight (fat) could ever get into that squished squad back seat.  Scary tight place!!

Back at the car, the policeman takes off.  The road helper man puts the gas in.  .
( BARS!  Ewww)




And then he told me he was going to push my car through the light around the corner, and to the Home Depot parking lot.  And I have NO POWER.  Turning that wheel was ....no words next to impossible.  Might I add he was giving me instructions via a LOUD SPEAKER so all could hear.   

Then he gets out and stands by the passenger window and  politely tells me how to turn the key half way on then back off, then start it. It sputtered and died. He repeated instructions on turning the key back again, now half way, then start again. Sort of like a computer when its been shut down incorrectly. It has to think a minute to get itself back together. I might want to take some lessons on that.  Whalla it started and we mossied back to the gas station and filled the old Buick up with Gasoline! 

So....... don't loan you car out if your gas gauge doesn't work.  Or better yet put some gas in it the minute you get it back. 

Until my next mess or I find something I want to share, be well, be safe, be happy, and get rich so you can fix your gas gauge if it dies.  I am saving for a Honda CRV!!  Let you know when that happens. 


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