Monday, October 22, 2012

Socially Awkward! ...............by Diane Ogden




Have you ever been socially awkward? Of course you have don't lie! Like the time at my graduation party I said with an empty head, "Do baby chick's nurse from their mom?" Before I got it out of my mouth I realized the brain had taken a momentary leave of absence. Then there were the times my voice went a decibel or three higher than usual and as it squeaked out something stupidly stupid the rest of me shrunk in horror saying silently to self, "What is the matter with you?"  When I was young it could have been a cute boy....  now its just stupidly random.  Someone walking into your bathroom stall and instead of walking back out they start a conversation.  To me that is socially awkward.  No that is insane. The things that come out of our mouths when this happens should be recorded for medical science or medical something.  Sometimes I say in my own defense, "I think I might need brain dye!"  Which in itself is not socially accepted.  I shouldn't be driving if I need brain dye.  I shouldn't be caring for myself or the lil zoo I got going on either.  Webster or Wiki says: Nothing about it.  Maybe I am not socially awkward as I don't fall into any of the categories listed.  I just act stupid and talk dumb and irrationally on occasion.  Be less concerned about what other people think of you. That is one of the suggestions given under Google.  Anyone or thing with a name like GOOGLE cant be right yet Google seems to have all the answers for sure.
 Use self talk to move through feeling socially awkward. In other words talk to myself and look even more foolish?  Really? 
Lighten up. Yup Google says to Lighten up Di!  Would I post a pic of myself in hot rollers that my hair dresser says will certainly be a part of my coffin should I chose a coffin which I wont, if I weren't Light in "thinking."  Humm that didn't sound right.  Next was: Learn to Relax and be kind to yourself.  Now we are getting somewhere...  I think that could be it. The Relax one.  Who can relax. I own a small business. I need major surgery. My Dad died and the whole damn family fell apart.  They tell me he was the glue.  Okay, too late, Humpty Dummie Family fell off the wall and broke.  The end.  Back to socially awkward.  I think that is the wrong phrase.  Was I socially awkward in second and third grade when we played Dodge Ball?  I was so scared of that ball.  I went to a school where they taught 0-12.  Now how'd ya like a big old guy throwing a fast ball at your ass when your  7 years old.  And it hurt I do recall.  That's just wrong on all levels. A first date, the first time going out to eat with a date.  That's just uncomfortable.  So what is that thing I do that I thought was called socially awkward?
Web definitions:
A social skill is any skill facilitating interaction and communication with others. Social rules and relations are created, communicated...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socially_awkward.
 I think I merely have an occasional flash of non-confidence.  Say when a handsome fellow passes by or gets very close.  That is when my mouth takes off without my brain.  My bladder does that too but that's a different deal. Five children and three husbands caused that poor lil organ to rebel.  So maybe I am not socially awkward after all.  Maybe I just a shy sweet humble woman who gets a bit nervous around bullies.  See, it cant be me.  Sooo, until the next time, be safe, be well, and be happy.  And get rich so no one will care of your voice squeaks and or you say really dumb things.  As one of my sons says, I leave you with consideration and love!
 



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