Tuesday, October 2, 2012

DeRanged.....................by Diane Ogden

I actually have a better photo of this but I also have a "fever" and this one was the easiest to find today.   Not that I usually take the easy road because I do not.  I think I will start though.  Soo....   Every Halloween I let this bloody leg hang out of my trunk. This year I am in and out of my trunk so its on the passenger side.  It is quite the show stopper.  And each year I wonder if I might get pulled over by the local po-leece.  So far I have done this for some eight years and only lost one leg.  Luckily the local Halloween store had another for me. 
It brings joy to people every day.  Some walking, some driving, some standing and pointing....  but today I experienced a first.  I stopped at the library to pick up some books I had waiting for me.  I was leaving when an elderly woman, picture this now.....  brown short wig, hefty, wrinkled up stone faced and creeping toward my car pointing at the leg.  I laughed, she did not!  She started to walk away and then crept back toward my car and over to my drivers side.  Never a twinge of a smile or even a sneer, nothing!  I rolled down my window and smiled politely at Mrs. Stoneface.  She pointed at me and then toward the passenger side of the car and said, "Do you know you have a leg coming out of your car?"  I swear on all my relatives graves she said that!   I looked at her and said, "Yes I do."  She looked at me with such disgust I felt naked.  I backed up to get out of her range (de-rangement) when a van pulled in and a younger woman opened her mouth wide like she had seen a ghost.  That is when I thought to myself (what is wrong with these people?)  Like I was the sane one among the three.  Neither women laughed but rather found my Halloween humor distasteful.  They must have been from a religious cult. 
All in all 99 % find the leg hilarious....or at least something out of the ordinary day.  I do too.  It's when I forget its there and people are making all sorts of motions at me regarding it.  I eventually come to my senses and laugh with them. 
So until I find something interesting or funny, be well, be safe, be happy, and try not to act de-ranged!  Good God it is just a joke.  And get rich so you can put a bloody leg in a NEW CAR door!
See ya

Photo from http://thechubbychatterbox.blogspot.com    I know I know the brown wig is missing! 
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