Friday, September 28, 2012

Goosed in VietNam Down the Street...... by Diane Ogden

I stopped in at the VietNam nail place down the street for a fill on my nails and decided to get the second pedicure ever in me life!  They seemed to be getting busy so the person that usually does my nails gave me to his brother.  I think his brother hasn't done this so much and that is an understatement!  And I cant say I felt very comfortable with this fellow rubbing my legs and slapping them on occasion.  Oh and God forgive, I mean forbid, he reached up and turned on the massaging chair.  That was okay until suddenly something "goosed me!"   Oh yeah, goosed me a good three inches.  Thank God or whoever it was I was not sitting dead center on that chair or I may have acted like the Meg Ryan in Sleepless In Seattle. That would have been awfully embarrassing.  So I sat there getting the bottom of my bottom slapped, the middle of my body goosed, and the top of my body (brain) unsure if it was disgusted or trying to maintain control.  Finally it was over.  I was then escorted which I am sure was a sight considering my legs were like jello after the wonderfully horrible experience.  Now I am placed at the lite to dry my toenails and another lite above for my fingernails.  I was supposed to sit for ten minutes.  After 30 minutes none of my nails were dry.  No one knows why.  And no one had time to fix the problem. Personally I think he put oil on as a base coat thinking it was the base coat. So they kept putting more oil on my nails and sent me home.  You see the owners wife was being taken to the hospital to be induced considering she was 10 days overdue.  What had I gotten myself into?
Seriously, who gets a pedicure and goosed at the same time.  That's like going to the dentist and getting a pap smear.  S H U T U P! The worst part is when I woke up this morning my right big toe nail was crinkled and smeared from never drying.  And my fingernails were and are somewhat sticky.  I wont fix them because THEY OWE ME!   Boy do they owe me!  So until I get goosed by an electric chair again, or find something unusual to report, Be Happy, Be Safe, and Be Well...  and get rich so you don't have to ever have a chair handle your private end in public anyway.  ssshhheeesshh I never

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