Saturday, May 19, 2012

Plug and Play.... by Diane Ogden

Sooo, its the summer of 2012 and it porch contest time which means I cant stand it and have to spend $200 to win and make $50!~  Good business huh? Notsomuch!  But sure is fun sometimes, this one being it.  I spent several hours today learning how to fix a broken lamp cord, add a plug, find some black tape and hope like heck I put the wires under the plug screws clockwise !!   That was after I was all done and ready to plug her in.  And that was after I made two trips to Home Depot, the famous fixer upper on many TV shows I watch.  Ty Pennington's place to go is Home Depot!  So I went there cause Ty Pennington is my sons twin in life.  Sort of. 
The first trip to H.D., not the TV type the Depot type, the fat guy salesman tells me what I need and how to make it happen.  The light that needs cord repair to come on that is.  By the way I got it at a used furniture store for a song. You know, a song, meaning cheapola, $35.  Then I bought a flicker light to flicker in it after I learned how to cut the cord with a splicer dealie, then wrap the wires properly and then use a pliers to click it tight and then do similar with the new plug.  When I thought I had it right, I called my neighbor friend and explained the electrical situation and told her I was about to plug my masterpiece in and that I had life insurance with such and such company as well as were I hide my money which was a joke of course but added some drama to the circuit situation.  I plugged it in (that was after I googled how to, to double check the Home Depot fat guy's instructions, and omg it worked.  I am not being nasty, but the fat guy, he couldn't bend over to pic up something on the floor at the depot place, he had to get on one knee to do it. It was just unhealthy (nothing funny there huh?) 
Then I tried to wrap the wire cinchers with black tape that was seven years old making it STICKY.  So I went upstairs to another neighbor (MAN!!! Chit no one gave me a divorce handbook on how to fix a broken wire) and he wrapped it good!  Thank you very much man person, at which time I walked it back home, stood on the wicker porch chair, hung it up , plugged it in and whalla whalla!  Let there be light God said on the seventh day. (Okay so I am a bit ADD and finished it on the sixth day!) Does that mean I can rest tomorrow?  God I hope so....Until I find something else for you, Be Well, Be Happy, Be Safe, and dad gummit get rich so you can but a new lamp and not waste several hours of your LIFE you could and should be doing other things. It did turn out darn nice I have to say.
It's dark now and the little flicker light is pretty cool and relaxing.
Post a Comment