Sunday, May 13, 2012

A New Three Wheeler For Me.........by Diane Ogden

I am not really, in reality, for sure, not a Harley Woman! But....I got to thinking which I shouldn't do most of the time because my imagination goes to unreasonable places.  Like today.  Wait, listen......
I am obviously bored.  It's Mother's Day and if I had my druthers I would go test drive some of these trikes.  I realize I cant handle a two wheeled vehicle due to the fact they weigh a ton.  But hey, a three wheeler that balances itself unless hit by a mac truck.  I could pack in this place where I live and leave with the wind blowing my hair unless I wear a helmet which I might not.  I would put my 6 lb. Chihuahua/Pom in a box behind me and head for Texas.  Or maybe just Edgerton at first.  (Edgerton being a tiny town twenty miles away)  I hate bugs and from what I have seen they don't make the windshield tall enough.  Not sure about the "reach" for the handlebars on the neck vertebra's either.  I would have to have a TV mounted to the side of the shield for my soap opera and HGTV and of course Junk Gypsies.  I wonder if I would have to fight those other Harley women!  I am so not a fighter. Tattoo? Maybe!  And I would like to make some pit stops in those sleazy to half sleazy bars as well as antique shops and flea markets.  Maybe I shall have to purchase one of those trailers.  What about storms?  I don't do storms.... What about bed bugs in motel/hotels?   Cant do roadside bedrolls like in the old days, too many weirdo's out there.  They'd be scared of me probably.  Old lady on a Harley Trike?  I would buy an RV but its like driving a train or bus.  I would hit everything in site.  I am thinking I need to go back to the mental drawing board and chill.  Go buy some plants for my porch and see about plan B.  I just don't like bugs in me face!  That's the only reason of course.  Maybe some orange streaks in my hair or possibly a normal vacation like normal people which I have not had since 1987!!  No chit seriously.  Had to raise the kids on my own which means work, work, work....  bring a guy home a couple times for play, get short term married to a drinker (wise huh), then more work, work, work.  Wha Wha, call the wha whambulance.  I am fine, cause my license plate says so.  ALSWELL! (I have paid Wisconsin Plate Renewal rates on ALSWELL from 2004 to 2012)












p.s. I bought mummie dearest a gorgeous Cow cookie jar with a hen sitting on its back for Mothers Day.  The store couldn't find the box so they put it in a cake box and when it got to the funny farm and mummie opened it, the head of the cow was broke in three pieces.  I shall try to talk the store into replacing it even tho I cant prove how it broke.  What's the happy news for today? I have decided not to buy a Harley Trike, for today anyway. Just know that I know I am Steven Tyler's twin sister from a previous life.  And if he saw me he would know it too! I have some amazing feathers for my hair.  Just cant do the black nails "yet."  Reality?  Notsomuch but it was a fun little trip without drugs.  I don't need drugs, I have a

mind from another world. So there ya go, Be Well, Be Safe, Be Happy, and By God get Rich so you can take a vacation every year.  You deserve it.
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