Tuesday, May 1, 2012

My Little "Chit" Island......by Diane Ogden

Allow me to introduce you all to my little shitty dog Gracie Allen Ogden. 6 lbs.


 I found her at the humane society in late 2007.  Make note how many years ago this was.  Also make note she is a rescue dog who has turned me into a human being who now needs rescuing also.  I have taken her outside several times a day all these years.  I finally started using poddie pads for the in between times.  You see she will go outside and poddie and poo, yet if she has to go in the meantime she does.  Diarrhea is a real treat.  So I started gating her in my bedroom when I was at work eight hours a day more or less so at least it was contained and I spread poddie pads out.  Sometimes she uses them and other times she goes right next to them.  She cannot be crated as she screams with anxiety.  She cannot be put into a travel bag because she screams like a dying hyena.  And then so do I.  I hired a trainer.  That stopped the screaming when nail clipping.  Bottom line is I live on Shit Island.  Not poddie pad paradise. Nope, the other one. 

Sooo today I felt guilty.  I do guilt really well being raised at the funny farm. I pull it out when I need it and use it well.  I do try to remember God doesn't do guilt.  Well God doesn't live on Shit Island either.  Maybe that is the problem. I need to call on God. I will try that.  So back to my point.
  Today I felt guilty so I put up the two large pieces of plywood I found in the dumpster room (no one should throw good wood away) and I use it as a cheap gate to keep Gracie Allen Ogden from peeing and pooing in the sun room.  Look at the photo of Living Room:  In the living area I laid out a piece of long carpet, (DO CHECK OUT THE LONG LOG and SHORT LOG OF POOP next to the fake green plant) I also laid down a fan, pillows, and a baby gate thinking it would detour her sorry little pooping paradise.  And what do I come home to?  See that lil turd in photo way up top?That almost hit my laptop cord? And see the long nasty turds NEXT to the piece of extra carpeting put down so she would use that if in fact she did the deed as I previously stated.  See where guilt gets you?  I felt bad leaving her in that bedroom again.  Notnomore!  I don't take her to doggie day care because she doesn't like dogs.  She likes people and should be a greeter at a store somewhere.  But she adores me and I cannot give her away.  (What if I had a man that adored me yet pooed on the floor, guess that 's diff) I have threatened her verbally which seems to make her better for a while.  Until such time as I can figure out a different plan, I live on "Shit Island,"  a very nice luxury apartment.  Well it used to be.  It doesn't smell bad when I walk in.  But then they say you cant smell your own and she's mine for the long haul.  Can you imagine if I found a man friend with this mess going on?  OMG! Its awful what a person can get used to.  (Hey I clean it up!)  What's my Happy News of the day?  I didn't give up
So Be Well, Be Happy, Be Safe, and get rich so you can get new carpet if you need it.  Get it? 


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