Thursday, May 24, 2012

Amazon Woman .............by Diane Ogden

This is me after a day with Amazon Woman!  I hired a woman sort of by phone and then met her in person.  Dumb!  No actually DESPERATE which if you scramble the word Desperate it means Separate and that is exactly what happened by the end of this unbelievable day from hell-o amazon woman.  She wore her orthopedic shoes and I am not kidding, you know the walker type beige ones.  Yup.  She rode with me (never ever again!) and disliked the air conditioning due to her physical condition where she gets cold due to thyroid.  Don't open the windows cause her allergies cause her contacts to mess up.  Shit she cant see anyway I discovered.  Later on that one.  She told me how to drive, told me she had experience .... (MyBad I didn't check references due to DESPERATION which means separation thank God I learned this today and only today.   The woman kept saying, "We're done now!"  I smiled for a while then said, "We're done when I say we're done." She asked if every room had to be vacuumed. OMG, no lets just do one dummie.
She left dirt everywhere on floors, large pieces of catfood on the kitchen floor, hairs all over bathroom sinks. She said that was my fault for turning the fan on . That would be the fan on the bathroom ceiling ya think that stirred up all that pubic hair I found in the sink huh?  DUMBASS!  I think she wiped the floor and then the sink.  There was green comet in the bottom of the tubs when she was finished.   I watched her spray the shower wall with Cleaner and wipe it off with a paper towel.  That's going to get two weeks of clients skin off the wall right?  I took her back to her car to drive to the second job where she immediately got out of her car to tell me I didn't turn my signal on soon enough "back there."  I said, "Listen lady, you need to find someone else to nit-pic cause this mess isn't going to work, I can see that very clearly!"  She told me I was too defensive.  I just laughed.  She finished vacuuming the sofa and I mentioned there was still hair all over it. Cat hair that is.  She told me it was the vacuum that blew it all back on there.  I just laughed and said sure. And repeated, "This isn't going to work!" Then I told her to check the corner by such and such as there was lint and dirt and pointed to it.  She tried to intimidate me saying she cant tell where it is by that pointing thing.  This woman was ghastly to work with for one hour much less five.  I was actually about in tears after the first job and was in tears after the second one.  Heck, I didn't pee wee all day cause I perspired horribly due to running around after her picking up hair and such. And I drank a liter of water, 14 ounces of decaf/coffee, and two diet cokes! I almost drank my clients wine. I was in my car driving to next client when first client called me and said, "Diane, this is the worse cleaning we have ever had, what's up?"  I explained in great duress with no diplomacy whatsoever considering  I was upset.  (They have been my clients for years.)  She said no problem go hire someone decent and get refs!  Then she said God doesn't give up more than we can handle.  I said, "No but that other satan guy does!"  She laughed.  Then I got a text from her saying her little boy, age 3 said to tell Diane its okay and they all love me.  WOW!  That made up for all of it.  Including the fact Amazon W said not to turn the bathroom fan on because feces are airborne.  I said, "Oh Hush!"  She said and did so many stupid things in 5 hours I cannot recall them all.  Bottom line is if you speak to someone on the phone and they have a nice voice and are educated.....it doesn't mean they are smart or have experience.  This was the face of a prize fighter with a lobotomy.  So back to Craig's List to find someone without a lobotomy and experience and I will be leaving desperation behind. I bet I sleep tonight!  p.s. I am a very easy going nice person but this person with several disorders, mental and physical turned me into a REAL BOSS who said, "Your Fired" as I tossed my hair back like Trump, got in the Buick and cried as I drove away to better days.  So until I find something interesting or funny, Be Well, Be Safe, Be Happy, and by God or man..Get Rich so you don't have to deal with Amazon Women who lie about experience and think feces are airborne and cant see a foot in front of them! Shykies....
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