I Lost My Lunch!...........by Diane Ogden

We had just left the house overlooking my lunchbox in photo below, when I saw a perfectly good wicker chair in the trash a few houses down.  One of my workers ran down to it, checked it out, and sat down in it making sure it was worthy of taking home.  As you can see it was.  No I do not have an SUV or a V-A-N or a Truck, I have a Buick.  Yup, a Buick my mother gave me.  FREE is good. Payments suck so I suck it up and drive the beast around.  Actually it is a decent car. It does not know I am a Lexus person and I wont be telling it for fear it will take a large dumpola on me.  Back to my point.  I should have video taped my two helpers trying to get that chair first in the back seat and next in the front seat.  We had all but given up when the mailman came passing by.  Bless his handlebar mustache and jolly face.  He looked over the situation and gave one line of advice that worked and whalla!  It was in.  But when I got it home what a joke that was pulling it out.  Sounds like a bad line from a bad movie.

I buckled up and away I went to the next client. And as I passed the mailman and we both did a thumbs up as he saw the beastly wicker chair in the front seat.  It wasn't ten minutes later when I was backtracking that same street after I discovered my peanut butter and low sugar jelly sandwich was GONE!  And there he was.  The jolly handlebar mustached postman was waving.  I stopped and inquired as to whether he saw the lime green lunchbox anywhere.  He affirmed he has seen something fly off the top of my Buick and he thinks it is laying on the tree line back yonder.  I thanked him once again, drove a block of two and there she was sitting all alone in the dirt.  I should find a man like that.  Two problems solved in less than an hour.  What a guy.  Only problem is he isn't here and I have to prime, duck tape, and paint that classy wicker piece.  Maybe I'll give it to mummie dearest for Mother's Day for the old homestead I was incarcerated at for about ten years of my teenage years, I call the funny farm.  I already got her a rooster with a chipped tail. Don't worry I'll fix it because she "be" a perfectionist.  No duck tape on the rooster and the stuff on the chair will be painted.  If she complains (its a given) I will re load it into the Buick and bring it back home.  Or not.
That's my Happy News for today.  I found some good garbage.  Be Safe, Be Well, Be Happy, and don't get even, get rich.