Monday, February 20, 2012

"The Wedgie".......by Diane Ogden

 First of all let me say assuredly neither of these pictures are mwah.  Yet it sure felt like it this morning after I showered, threw my robe on and then a big stadium coat over the robe to take the dog out for a podie poo event.
Of course I looked weird but it gets the dog out before she goes inside, considering its winter and the carpet and the grass are the same color.  At least that is my excuse if she has an accident because I did not move fast enough to get her out.  That is why I go out in my robe covered with a big coat early.  Come summer I will have to come up with plan B.  Back to my point cause I am always getting off my point. 
Picture this 8 x 10 glossy.  Me outside bending over to pick up doggie doo's poo, then coming back to an upright position and immediately feeling the WEDGIE wad!  OMG I am outside in public because I am standing in the front yard of a large complex where a large number of people live and even if only one were looking out the window......no way was I going to dig out that hunk of terrycloth stuck in my butt. Nope no way.  So I waddled back inside like a stuffed duck, ripped that huge stadium coat off that goes nose to toes, and grabbed that wad outta there before it became a permanent fixture like those Wal Mart people.   How in the achhh eee double ell can men or women wear those thongs cause that is what a permanent wedgie is!! It's like rope over your private part. Why I ask? Why?  It hurts, it rubs, and it just "aint" normal.  If it were I wouldn't have worked so hard and fast to get back in the house to get it out of that private place.  Getting it out of the private place outside wouldn't be so private would it?   I do have to admit that I have a couple of pair of undies that are too big (thank God and myself) and they give the gift of a silk wedgie so I put a red dot on them and filed then in a box called "in case I ever need."  The cheeks would have to grow first and that 'aint' gonna happen.




"What was this girl thinking?"  Notsomuch cause it appears her left lobe and right lobe sank to lower levels.  Sorry whoever you are.  The picture is from http://www.poorlydressed.com/   Ya think?
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