Thursday, February 9, 2012

Match.com by Diane Ogden

My sister-in-law told me to join match.com so I did.  She once told me to get a job selling insurance, so I did.  And I was very successful.  She tells me all the time that I am not in charge. Her Dad tells her that so she passes it onto me. Not sure why, she is the bossy one having been in charge of a car dealership she owned for some twenty years.  Back to match.com. So I fill out the questionnaire.  I answer all the questions as truthfully as I can without scaring anyone off and I submit 9 photos.  The main photo is me with  my hair in rollers.  I just had to do it.  If the prospective man could handle that, the good pics were only a click away.  And so they did, click away that is.  I have met up with one fellow, certainly not a "gentle-man" as he asked me what I would like and I said, "Ice Tea," which after two hours I never rec'd.  No manners!  I almost forgot, one of the first things he said to me was, "Do you have to wear those glasses?"  Need I say more. And he wanted me to go snow shoe-ing in the woods.  I could borrow his sisters snow shoes.  Seriously?  No thank you... If I couldn't get ice tea out of him, I am liable not to get back out of that woods with any help what-so-ever.  And fishing?  Nope, he should have friends by now, men friends that like to be quiet and watch a string hang in the water for hours.  Me, I would be working on my 25,000 woman words a day and scaring the fish away!  Next guy never stopped talking about the roller photo.  He just didn't understand that.
He said I must not like adoration.  Yes I looked it up.  After ten emails and it was still under discussion, I deleted the "pretty boy."
I haven't given up, but so far 85% of them want a slender, athletic body toned woman.  Yet they look like they are about to deliver.  Twins that is.  Men!  They just don't care about what's under the boob....its all about the boobs.  I am not fat, and I have boobs along with a heart under one of 'em that will continue to look for a nice fellow that will go fishing without me.  I 'm just not that into it.  And the more I think about it, I might not be that into this match.com either.  Sorry sister-in-law, this is like too much work.  I already had my quota I think.  But I am keeping the $40 a month match.com charge door open just in case.
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