Dumpster Diving..........By Diane Ogden

My Granddaughter was visiting one weekend.  She so happened to have brought her sweet young and ready to please the NanaD boyfriend.  Had he any idea what was in store for him he would have high-tailed it out of dodge.  I love the dodge thing, reminds me of the old westerns we all used to love.  Sort of like the Ford-Man I love!  Okay back to my point.  Before the Grand Daughter and her man-boy got here I took the garbage down to the huge stinky rotten bins in the small icky garbage room where my dog, if I take her, rolls her nose in the crap near the drain.  Obviously I do not take her with me to that room "down there" anymore.  I had my apartment, mail, car, trunk, building entrance, safe, jewel box, keys on a squibbly ring so as not to lose it.  You see I used to have a vehicle with keyless entry and I knew if I didn't watch it close I would lose my keys.  I did!  When I threw the garbage bad into the horrid dumpster the keys flew in along with it.  I did not realize this at that moment.  The Grand showed up with the man-boy.  I had realized my serious loss before they arrived and was contemplating plan b or c.  It was then that I recalled the last time I had keys.  And it was then that I looked into the youthful and willing to please eyes of Grands man-boyfriend.  He said, with all the masculinity he could muster considering his knees were still larger than his legs and he still was eating three plates of food a meal.  A man-boy aimin' to please and I took total advantage of his aimin' to please deal.  We carried my step stool down to the lower level (garbage room) where he opened it up and climbed to the top step, leaned over into the garbage and began rummaging.... did I feel guilty.  Sure. But not too bad because I didn't know him too well and it wasn't mwah!!  BINGO we got lucky as the garbage men had come the day before so the bin was fairly empty...and I got my keys back with little or no crap on me-self.  By the way, the may-boy is no longer the Grands boyfriend.  Hope I didn't have anything to do with that.  What's the good news?  He's gone. I have my keys...  ALSWELL

p.s.  I suppose I should take a new pic of my license plate as I am up to 2012 now stickers