Monday, September 5, 2011

Worst Blog I Ever Diane Ogden

 This is half of something.  This is half of a union, a pair, a couple!
One white and one black.  One salt and one pepper.  Now I stand alone, really alone on a vast wooden table left to deal with life half-way. 
Salt was sitting on the counter attached to me, pepper, at the side by a strong almost unbeatable, unbreakable force called a magnet. We were like twins, inseparable, where one went the other usually always went too.  Silly huh?  Not really....just look at me now. Poor soul.  Not only standing alone now, but I'm black on the inside living in a white outer side!  This is no good life anymore.
After salt fell off the the edge of the counter and died a big smashing death, I knew it was over.  The life I had known for years was over.  I could see the person that shoved her off the edge was upset.  Standing there gazing at salt trying to figure out a way to put her back together...sort of worse than humpty dumpty or scrambled eggs.  There was no putting salt back together.  So I watched the lady sweep her up and drop her into a big white bag and that was the last time I saw salt.  I have an empty spot now.  Its right on my side where she used to be attached and sit every day, every month every year.

The lady that accidentally killed salt was talking to someone.  She was saying, "OMG, I hope those weren't a wedding gift, or maybe carried some sincere sentimental value.  What if they belonged to the deceased Grandmother, or they might have been a gift one of their children walked a mile to a store with only a few dollars they'd saved for months to buy a Mother's day gift for!" 

That lady carried on so long I started to think she might know I had feelings. Nawh, impossible.  Salt is gone and I will have to find a way to move on.  I have some other friends on the counter. A large brown wooden grinder and some new fangled plastic (probably from Wal Mart) with big salt inside it.  When they turn the top it makes noises and then salt like my old friend that got pushed off a cliff counter and smashed into a thousand pieces, comes out the top.  The new salt is OK, just not my cup of salt is all.  I will adjust to the loss.  Not so sure that lady will.  She was more upset than I was and salt wasn't even hooked up to her.  I think she was just a-scared the people that owned salt and I might be upset. She still isn't over it.  It's been a few months now and today when she came she sat me on the table and took some pictures of the missing salt.  I'm fine, she isn't!! 
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