Thursday, August 11, 2011

Esther's Bloody Knee's, The Colonel Disappears by Diane Ogden

I guess it 's time for another Esther and the Colonel update.  My smarty phone has been bombed the last few days regarding Hester and Cherry.  Cherry is Hester's sister and Esther's other female child.  Cherry stays away from Hester pretty much. Says Hester is out of the loop, crazy, nutzo.  Cherry has a child named Lexus.  I know, I know, its a car.  They couldn't afford the car so they named the unexpected child Lexus. This is her car and her workshop in the photo. Of course I am embarrassed for knowing these people.  Yet, it's good material for the part of my brain that searches the earth for humor.  These people fit the bill perfectly.  Couldn't find a closer fit to Archie Bunker and family if I worked at it.
So.... one of Esther's calls is near frantic.  Hester has borrowed her car again and while backing it out of the garage she hits the wall and cracks the mirror housing on the passenger side.  OMG (that means Oh My God!) for the lone one person that doesn't know that.  OMG, Esther is anal about her Buick.  It's not a new one and she has it detailed, new paint job, any imperfections repaired including the undercarriage of the old Buick she calls "Inez."  Not my choice of car names for sure...but then I wouldn't name my child Hester either.  The car mishap is a major issue, but Hester's living arrangements are even more major.  She wants Esther to go with her to talk to her landlord who has evicted Hester for living in nutzville while at his complex.  But Hester has the "goods" on this "Clyde" considering she worked for him for three years before he figured out she was off the charts and needed a lobotomy for sure, to be able to even co exist on earth, much less his complex.  Yet no white truck with men in white suits has arrived.  Nope.  The chicken spined landlord has actually let her talk him into staying longer.  Even though he has letters from frightened tenants, threats to him from Hester herself, he's had to change locks due to her paranoid psychotic fear of the delivery man, her threats to sue the phone company because they broke into her apartment and put bugs in all her wall outlets and phones, her threats to sue him because she is a disabled person!  And the list goes on.  But he let her stay.  I feel so protected! Especially when she stops her car and screeches to me, "Forgive me, I was wrong!"  I just look away thinking, "You are one of the ones who flew over, no landed in the coo coo's nest. Esther is on her knees and has been until they are bloody....asking God to please move Hester across the pond, or at least North to Alaska.  I told Esther that might cost her more considering the distance.  She said no way Alaskan Hose'.  Head her up and move her out! 
I have to tell you I am watching Esther shake herself to death.  And The Colonel is just leaving the area of his home and den/cave every chance he gets.  Maybe I am a drama queen cause I actually look forward to Esther's chit so I can find laughter in this world.  Sad I find it in this psychotic mess.  Humm I might should rather search out some support group.  Or not.  Oh, Lynn next door had her boobs done.  They are now el natural!  She isn't so sure they are big enough though.  Huh?

photo from:  

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