Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Sex at a Target Checkout! by Diane Ogden

That is not me in the front of the photo.  No really it isn't! Although I do have a hair appointment tomorrow thankfully.  Really it isn't. 
Today, while I worked, I was listening to an audio book called "Chasing Perfect" by Susan Mallery. I became quite interested in it so I left my ear-buds in while I "made" some errands happen. I was at Target standing by the canvas pictures pondering whether to purchase the New York Skyline for my office and knowing if I did that was probably the closest I will ever get to that magnificent city and its lites. Secretly knowing this fact I bought it at half price, walked it to the checkout, was preparing to pay for it as I laid it on the long black rubber escalator to the office it would reside and capitvate my mind daily. Nawh not really, it just matched the color of the paint I just did my office in.
When, in my ear a voice narrating the complete and I mean complete and magnificent act of making love between the two main book characters, what's his name and what's her name....how they are in the elevator and he lifts her off the floor and leans her on the wall like vertical levitation, then with all the perfect verbs and nouns and adjectives he and she so amazing things in my presence and the presence of the (bless his heart and everything else) geeko checkout boy!  Suddenly I feel like I have been caught in the act myself. The money is falling on the floor like I forgot to pay him enough for what "they" were doing in my head!  He was such a sweet kid, thanking me for it and telling me to "come again," which flustered me even more. Listen to me! It was not dirty nor is the book trashy.   Oh no, this was a nice couple finding one another in life, well the elevator wasn't so classy I will say but then again I have never "done it" in an elevator.  Once under a tree outside.... never an elevator. A N Y W A Y as Ellen DeG says.....they did it, I got to enjoy it, the boy never knew what happened (he wouldn't have anyway) and I got the New York skyline where I can dream of Steven Tyler, my twin sister, from New York, from a past life.  Now that's good news!

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