Friday, July 1, 2011

Esther's and The Colonel have Child! by Diane Ogden

Hester without the mini dress, pondering who is bugging her car
Actually they have quite the child and a couple more besides.  This one takes the cake, literally!  I had to stop in to see her today and I about fell off my own legs onto a floor that I hoped would slide me right back out the door, but no such go!  I was stuck staring at two humongous breasts hanging, yes I said hanging up and out of a gorgeous (not-so-much) thin spaghetti strap MINI satin dress.  No this was not a night time gala event, rather an office where such attire I would think (which I try not to do in these sorts of circumstances because for what good?) would be unacceptable.  While I was there Nester, that's her name, called me to the closet. Yup, the closet.  I said, "The closet," and she responded, "Ssshhh."  Then motioned for me to come that direction, so I did.  I had to because I was there on business and she had the business I needed.  So into the tiny closet I go all the time thinking "dear lord, why me? Could you find her a new person to confide in, in the closet!"  You must picture this 8 x 10 glossy of me, a normal woman standing in a tiny office closet with queen for the day dress and breasts way too up close and personal....all the while she is whispering because she says the office if bugged. They, the management are trying to get rid of her and need a reason so they bugged it!  I just stare at her in utter dismay within my brain and on my face.  I did not try to hide it either.  Because I don't think Hester even noticed.  I don't think Hester thinks anyone around her has a brain.  The world is a frame around her face only, oh and the rest of her too.
I finally escaped the closet, ran back to my car where I had left two other employees with the engine running!  I wondered if it had overheated like I had inside that cubby closet with nutso Nester!  As the girls and I were leaving Nester came walking out of the office in her mini satin dress and I told the girls with me who she was and there was silence.  The kind of silence that means omg what is that ?  What is that person thinking?  That is when the wind caught Nester's little barely covering her body dress and lifted it right on up high so her underpanties were visible to all.  My front seat friend said, "Are you serious?" in a very monotone voice...  I said, "Yup!!"  If you only knew the rest of Hester's story of which I did not share for the sake of seeming to know her too well....
Hester also believes her apartment is bugged, her car, her computer, and her phone.  Esther and The Colonel try to avoid the subject with Hester, but that can be difficult. You would have to know Hester to understand that.  Don't bother really.  It's NOT good news. The Good News from me is I gotta outta there and will be back here tomorrow!  Alone thank you.
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