Monday, May 23, 2011

The Happy News for Today....by Diane Ogden

The world did not end
The cat that ate my roses today did not die
or......throw up
My car is running like a good time piece
I am upright and speaking clearly
I did not get to watch a shooting from road rage today out on Hiway M, just almost
I have food
I do not live in Joplin, Missouri where the horrible tornado killed many
I am not related to Bin Ladin
My Father is alive at 85
I am on no medications at my glorious age
I am not fat (well, a little)
I have a bed to sleep in tonight
I just filled my tank with gas and had some cash left for a coffee
My novel is being edited (next published!)
Oprah would be proud of my little gratitude list....  screw O...., no I mean phooeey Oprah....(she could kill the deficit so of course she is grateful. )I didn't mean it when I said the screw thingy!  That is 60's talk still in my head from the 60's of course.  I bet Oprah says screw her cook every day!  I heard a comedian say Oprah has enough $ to have someone standing there slapping food out of her hand daily. True.  I don't have enough money to have bad fattening sick food slapped outta my hand daily so that be the reason for the 7 lb gain blogpost a few days  back. Where or where can I find a slapper?? duh.  I rather ride my exercise bike thank you...been there done that slapped thing. No thank you......and thank GOD I learned that one early in the scheme of life.  See, that is good news.  Bye Oprah.
I have lived through Johnny Carson, Oprah and God all in one lifetime. Oh shitski I forgot Elvis. What more could I ask for?  Nothing because there "ain't" time for no more unless I live to be 100 (0) and can still understand TV or whatever they will call it next. Not so sure I wanna live that long just to have the above little list.  But then when my novel sells I will lengthen my list and desire to live longer.  Now that is good news Charlie.  Who's Charlie?  Could be Charlie Brown, could be my first X Charlie the slapper...we call him Chuck the F__!  The good news is he's dead so it's OK.
More good news.....this blog is over.
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