Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Vampire Tongue...... by Diane Ogden

Little ones can get away with an out of control tongue.  You know, that "thing" inside your mouth that is always there, and seems to have a  mind of
its own.  Recently I have met several "people" who really shouldn't have one (a tongue) that is connected to a sound box anyway.  Animals don't have the ability to put letters together in their brains, connect that to their tongues, and in turn connect that to their sound boxes and in turn speak sounds that are either naughty or nice. Or possibly they are merely dumb as (ass) like Mr. Potato Head with no parts.... Like I said, some of the species I have met lately should have fur on their skin. Truly most animals act more decent.  Am I angry?  No, just spent out with those human critters who have no regard for anyone but their own furry asses.  I have seen the "black card" used by a woman dragging an infant down a hallway at an urgent care because she wanted someone to carry him for her, yet she didn't ask.  Another pulled the same card and pulled directly in front of me at the grocery line.  I actually said something and there was a near altercation of two fuzzballs that time.  I guess I my tongue/brain/voice box fell off the proverbial Angel wagon.  I have also seen the "I can't do anything pregnant card" used well as the "lazy dog" card which leaves a puddle on my bedroom carpet...  along with "political cards" all over the place.  Thank God the "Charlie Sheen card" is finally slipping off the ass of America like a bad pimple.  That man's nards are in his mouth. He needs to bend over and relocate and readjust himself. I mean who would pay hard earned money to go see that crap?  I guess drug dealers like him would because that isn't hard earned $ like mine. I forgot to mention the "redneck card,"  the one's that need to learn how to read before they speak and should be banned from owning duct tape. Do I think I am better?  Damn right I do.  I can read, don't duct tape my car together, (I use super glue) don't snore in waiting rooms, don't charge people to listen to my drunken drug filled rages, (I do them quietly behind closed doors for free), and so on.  I have the "baby boomer card" and do listen to '60's music while dancing to it like a fool, yet I cant get up a flight of stairs anymore.  Humm, must be something to do with positive brain activity sending messages to the hips, legs, and feet! That's my "dance card."  Some of those other furry human critters should try moving their hips, legs, and feet instead of their nasty tongues. There is a full Moon!
photo from:
bottom photo:  mwah laughing at self
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