Sunday, October 17, 2010

They'll Always be Another Diane Ogden

I awoke to a dull deep burning severe pain in my right leg.  Leaping out of bed only to exacerbate the intensity is something I have learned to live with over the past couple of years.  Actually I think one of my muscles was interacting with what had just happened to me in some far away place where dreams occur.  Because they do occur and it is real and there has to be a place for them.  Maybe over the rainbow or maybe wherever we chose them to be...  China....who knows.  I just  know I was at one of those places this evening.
As I came from the "rest" room, (why anyone ever named it that is beyond me.)  Finishing the activities of the "rest" room I exited into the small sometimes narrow corridor leading to back the place of my more recent dream that really happened.  I stood in the dark of that narrow corridor suddenly reliving each scene like it was a movie I watched a few hours ago....Standing there frozen in time, hearing only the roaring sound of the propelling fan I use to muffle the sounds of the night and maybe the sounds of those far away places we go in our sleep. Nevertheless, I had gone off again to China or wherever, and there in the corridor all alone were the memories and the sinking fears of it.  Frozen. Why not just keep walking? It was after all only a dream. It wasn't really real.  Oh yes it was.  I had left home on foot walking to some unclear but sure destination.  And as always there were cliffs of fear and drop offs to raging waters of death far below...The road came to an end for me. I pondered turning left and then right and eventually full circle only to find no where to go...when I heard a sound from above.  I looked up to see the road actually continued but to an almost 90 degree angle. One tree, one vehicle, and a back pack was all that was in sight and that was a ways up the steep gravel embankment that was my new impending road. Starring at it my thoughts were again frozen along with my body and any movements that might need or want to take place.  I had come this far and now stopped dead in my tracks.  Scared to nearly death, when a man came walking down the gravel towards me with his hand outstretched.  He said, "Where you off to Missy?"  I said, "I have to get to Janesville for a job."  He motioned for me to come on with him, he would get me there.  I hesitated for what seemed some crazy earthly reasoning that was certainly out of character in this time and place. He might harm me or worse, this man from no where sleeping in his car on the side of a very tall and, for me, unreachable, unattainable stretch of road I needed to travel.  I took his hand and with great ease he moved me forward toward his old car.  The car was from another era also. Seems we all met at this one particular rendezvous that was predestined for just this one nights stage called a dream. Who was he? How did I know the car and when was it a part of my life? Why couldn't I walk it?  The road wasn't steep for the man.
We drove for a long time down and around winding roads and past waters. They didn't seem as frightening as when I walked them.  I do "wonder" if my own mind didn't cause the roads to narrow, the rocks to fall, the inclines steeper and the waters deeper than in true reality. Who was that man? Was he God? Or was he an Angel sent to show me an easier way then the one I had been treading?  Maybe he was my Great Grandfather.  Wouldn't that be cool. No. That is only cool if you get to know it was him. I think it was. Not the Great G that murdered the woman and child, but the one that owned a large farm and gave my Father his first nice car.  Yup, I pick him with God in him...  Well he got me to my job in Janesville all safe and sound. The job is another story from beyond...  to be continued. We all have our own mountains, dont we?'
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