Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Pregnant Daughter...omg

Some daughters are pregnant in Junior High School...others in High School, then others in College, then there is  mine, pregnant at age 21, living on her own, or was.  Sick as hell.  She would tell you she is surely in hell and would like to die.  I am in the background being positive.  Don't you just hate that positive person in the background when you need to pueck over and over, have to go to the Urgent Care, then the E.R. for IV fluids...they can't find your veins because you are dehydrated.  You are bruised over and over for two weeks. You are spinning, nauseated, having reactions to the meds given you, including one that paralyzed you 75%...and then there are the 99% of all friends and relatives telling you to "get rid of it."   "It " they say...Some say" it" has no spirit until just before birth...the online photos say it has feet now, and she saw the heartbeat on the ultrasound, and, the daughter only has one week to "get rid of it" legally in this state.  Another says she needs attention and that is why she is sick. Mentally self induces vomit, right!  Another emails "GET AN ABORTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  And that one was a brother.  Another says, "You leave the area yet? You hitchhiking out of there yet?" DUH.. That was another brother...  The very ones that helped raise her when I heard all the same reactions at age 40 after discovering I was pregnant while using birth control. we go again dammit.  But who might turn out wonderful.  People hate a positive person...  My daughter told me she could not imagine spreading her legs in the same building with such people, all there for the same reason and all their "tadpoles" (I call it that so I can deal with this mess) being sucked out of their bodies with a vacuum and dumped into the SAME Garbage can!  I wonder who picks up the trash at that building...Her tadpole has feet and a heartbeat and arms now...But no Spirit some its OK to suck it out. Hell tadpoles have hearts and feel pain, but we are not all connected are we?  Some also say the devil set it all up to make her life horrible for her.  Humm.. Could be!! Grandma tells her it might have down syndrome because she had a miscarriage before this and pieces might be left inside her.  Can you believe this?  Holy Cow shit I say...  She is sooo sick....and then to deal with all the comments.  But maybe they are all right and correct.  Will be hard, will be a child with a bad background, will cost too much, may need government help for a bit, might be a huge inconvenience, might change her life, might ruin it, could be a bad seed.  Yet the one thing my daughter has done well in her life is be a Nanny and love the little ones.... Bless her decision, but I figure she will have this tadpole, give "it" a name, and share custody with the father.... I pray her sickness leaves soon and my positive attitude will prevail a good outcome...  a healthy little human being man-boy!  Named????  Not a fetus in a mixed trash can of waste...They say God doesn't create trash....I sure hope God is in this one...who could say its trash ?? Who is to say that?  Such a bunch of emotional TRASH going on here regarding this tadpole, huh?
So I guess this was my emotional dump on my blog.  Sorry.  I am believing for a good ending...I always do.  It doesn't always work out tho..  My License Plate says, ALSWELL.  So it is!  I could have gotten a License plate that said, lfe s sht...but I didn't..Even tho sometimes it is, I prefer ALSWELL. This is not my decision...I will support hers.
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