Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Genuine Adventuresome Disorder? GAD

I think I was born scared.  Some people are born free, but I don't know any of them, do you? Then someone "said" or wrote down somewhere that after we are born we should have holy water poured over our heads or better yet we should get "dunked" in blessed water to become free.  Free of the sins of our Mother's because the woman ate the  cursed apple in the blessed garden. S H U T U P! Give me a thorough break from that hooey.  I was not inebriated when my son was conceived, his Father was.  I would say that is something one would consider a "bad apple," or "cursed apple." Wouldn't you?  I may have come into the world with some generational bullsheep from this one or that one down the line but hey, I did'nt and don't partake of cursed apples...in blessed gardens. Only cursed men in other places. Well not any more since I became this intelligent being that got the holy water poured on me. Some say I am still not good because I didn't dunk it!  Not going to either, dont like water, even bath tub water that gets too deep. No way naddo no thank you anyway.  I have a strong suspicion, (sp) that I am blessed and loved no matter what apple I eat or what I might do.  So I try to be a good human being and not listen to hogwashy religions. My point was that I think I was really born scared.  My Mother said it was storming to beat the band or is that ban?  To this day I get freaky when storms come around too close.  I get freaky at allot of things that come around. Even if they don't come around, I imagine they are coming around.  They labeled it...with a couple words.  Anxiety or GAD. Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It's so much fun to have. You can have your own little movie's going all day long in your head.  The truck carrying logs ahead of your car will surely fall on you any moment. The elevator will drop in two seconds.  The gas pump will blow up and you wont die. The Tornado will hit your abode and while you are in the basement the cement will drop on just your car and the jaws of life will have to come, but in the meantime you may have to cut off your own hand. Seriously that is what GAD is.  The theatre will catch on fire while your watching the movie so I/you have to sit in the back row. The plane will crash over water. The car will fall into a sink hole before I/you get to work. The bridge will collapse and the car will fall into water water over my/your head.  Someone will crawl into the window, but they'll leave after they see me/you sleeping with my/your mouth open. That is a good vision.  I could go on.  This is why I can write. I see things that aren't real so I write them down and use the negative disorder and turn it into entertainment. The kid at the bank told me I should be on the radio. I said, "Why?"  He said, "So you can give everyone your funny daily pointers."  I had told him I am not as broke as a joke like it looks on his computer screen. That I hide it all under my underware so I can remember where I put it. You know, Under the Under. Using word association so I don't forget where it is.  I know I know.  Actually I do not hide money at home in case any hackers are reading my amazingly interesting blog. And don't try breaking in my home because I am expecting you. Remember, I have GAD. GENUINELY ADVENTURESOME DISORDER! I already saw you coming! I am ready. Fight or Flight for sure. I never know which I will chose.
photo from: http://www.thatwoman.wordpress.com/
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