I have been saying this for two years....I say it to the clerks at the gas station when I buy one lotto ticket a week. I say it to friends, relatives, myself, my dog, my cat and the Universe and more. I used to think it was a joke that was my little secret even though no one else really knew I might not ever go. But I am going! I am going before everything is perfect...before I lose weight, before I get a face lift, before I get a new wardrobe, before I have tons of money saved, and before I don't ever get to go. You see I live in a fantasy world most of the time....that place where you believe your going to get all your dreams to come true even if you don't. For instance, I believe when I get to Los Angeles I will be discovered and be hired as an audience laugher...I always thought I could do that.... or maybe I will get the perfect live in Nanny Job in Beverly Hills... or maybe I will win something at the Ellen Degeneres Show...you know where they give things to the audience, like cars and camera's and such. I bet I get a walk on part in a big movie, or a talking commercial for sure. "Where's the Beef? (I know thats really old) Ok updated....I need them taken in, No out, No in, No out! Or..."How about a ten year long house-sitting job in a Penthouse overlooking the city. or...Could meet Jennifer Aniston while I am with my sons and she will go GA GA over one of them and marry one of them and have one baber child! Bet cha...they would be a perfect match. I hope the sales ladies on Rodeo Drive don't throw me out like they did Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman....I don't think I want to be a hooker tho....too late for that anyway. I am laughing with my dog at that one. Hey, I could meet a wonderful plastic surgeon and get all goo goo fixed and perty like way back when... Or like Joan Rivers. I could do my stand up routines that I practice in the car, in my apartment, in my shower, in my head. No, I am one of those that would have to drink just the right amount to get that one accomplished...and no one can drink just the right amount. Its always, either not enough or too much, so forget the stand up. Ok so I wont ever be a Meryl Streep, even tho I could have been (I know I know) but I turned left instead of right doi....Back to reality....I just want to spend time with my boys in L.A. and show my Grand daughter there is more to life than small towns, boys, and babies! She's gonna love L.A. I just know. Or not! Me, I will love L.A. and I will want to stay...I just know. Why? Cause "Ain't nothin goin on here!" It reminds me of the cemetery. So away we go Rose... (I call everyone Rose, including myself) Or Fred.