Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Chic Strap (s)

So, why do jocks get to call their "little" holder a "jock strap" when in reality it is a cup for the protection of their tender "little" doo da day" dealie (s)! We ladies on the other hand have lived thru unbelievable Bandeau issues. It is said that Howard Hughes initially invented the Chic Strap for Jane Russell for an old western movie. Yet I have also read that in 2000 BC, that is before Christ and Mary, that warrior Minoan women began wearing a cloth garments that shoved (omg like shoveled) their breasts upward. Who ever said they should be upward? The Greeks wore a bodice tied above the breasts, leaving them naked, but preventing them from moving while walking. Whalla the sports bra. Then in 4th Century AD, The Chemise appeared. It was like a tunic, or now called, I forget! In France women wore the Bandeau! Sort of a corset! YA THINK? Then came the gourgandine which I believe was similar to the guillotine, one for the head the other for the boobs. For sure. In 1889 came the first modern bra called the le bien-etre (the wellbeing) NOT! It was a two parter, upper supported the bosom with shoulder straps, the lower a corset type gear. Reminds me of a half a scuba diving outfit. By 1905 the upper half was being sold as a soutein-gorge (breast support). Whalla! Then in America, Mary Phelps Jacob was granted the first U.S. Patent for her brassier. 1922 came Ida Rosenthal, bless her boob covered heart! She and her hubbs changed the look of women's fashion with the Maidenform... oh I forgot one...the humorist Wallace Reyburn in the 1970's invented the new name "tit-sling." (God I hate that word, considering it is rendered (I love my puns) from teet, from the cow) Regardless what century you derive from...or even care about... I dislike the harness, just do. Why is it OK for men to just "hang around" their goods. Why cant my goods hang around? Jock straps, get outta here! The minute I get home I lose the Chic Strap! Literally lose it sometimes unable to find it in the a.m. before next days work. Don't worry I eventually find it... And I give in to the fact it has a social purpose.... then why does my auntie in the nurse home have to wear such gear? And why do "the girls" have to stand at attention? They aren't soldiers in training to save their and our lives. They are mamiliaries! Created to continue evolution...(I guess they do make life, or make life better huh?) You know, evolution, where girls feet are getting bigger, men are getting shorter, and every one's brains are not growing like the pictures of the aliens ....... so, we'll have big feet to run faster, from who we wont know as our brains are too small, but our boobs will be upright and tight fitted for the run. Not mine, because every day I take it off the minute I hit my front door. This time it ended up on the fridge....
p.s. Why don't men have such a harness to deal with daily?
I direved some of my information from Fun Trivia online.....not that I didn't know it already..
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