Sunday, May 3, 2009

RunAway Bride...by Diane Ogden

Is this the best or what? I am training them "up right." My Grannie was married too many times, My Great Grannie was married too many times, my aunties were married too many times (I guess they were Mennonites or Quakers and the girls were given up to old men at very young ages..eewww, which turned them into searching for something they were never trained to search for) so to set the girls right I showed them several negative videos of horrible things happening at weddings! People falling off tables, fainting, tornadoes taking the church away, dresses falling off, and so on. And then they saw my first husband in a coffin and then a hearse...all the while I am hoping they will connect marriage/weddings with death. OK so I am not on a realistic page. And I lied....I didn't tell them any of that awful truthful stuff. Stuff is my college word when in lack or another. Actually what I saw today was Drama in the form of little girls in gowns. Just like Prom...crying, fighting, running away, bully girls, yet all beautifully gorgeous while doing so! Drama Drama Drama like the monkey's at the zoo. My son calls it un-evolved. Ya think? But they certainly had fun at Nana's today while they reminded her/me of the three weddings I should have RUN AWAY from... but no I had to play Cinderella Poo....less one full to over pouring cup of drama equals a flat line/life after the wedding. Sad to say this dress up day turned out so traumatic for me. I'll be fine...I put an ad on Craig's List for the real deal. Wedding dresses for the girls AND ME to play RUN AWAY BRIDE with. I'll have them trained "UP RIGHT," (all puns intended") by the time they might think they want to walk down any isle.... and right out the back door! And if I'm alive I'll be the one to whisk them off in my 20 year old Lincoln with the ass end dragging because the air ride shocks died before I did. Picture that 8 x 10 glossy! Better than any fake carriage ride and of course I am NOT cynical!!



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