Monday, May 25, 2009

Pan and Spoon Banging...by Diane Ogden

I tried to find a picture of an old woman beating on a pan.....didn't happen. So you get this pic. And dam I wish my waist were that size but then if it were I think I might have some sort of bad illness. Waists don't come in that size anymore, just like feet aren't small either anymore. I suspect we are evolving on the wrong ends.. ha... Remember the bird blog? The birds are mating and screaming and now diving at my dog and I to protect their little blue eggs and fighting other birds for the same reason, except they cant tell the diff between my dog, me, and the real enemy... same as us humans I guess. Human and Humane, interesting! Back to my point, which is....maybe I could use the pan and spoon deal with other things...such as ugly family members. My friend told me the pan and spoon deal is how she keeps the birds away from her porch. She bangs and bangs on a pan! At first I thought, "Are you nuts?" But then I got to thinking which can be dangerous! You know, just keep it handy, the pan and spoon thing, and when they, family, friends, co workers, say or do something I and the world, because of course the world takes my side, doesn't agree with, or is nasty, just bang the "dam" thing hard for about ten seconds.....that outta do it. This might work for awhile but I suspect the men with white coats might just come on the scene and take me away, ho ho, ho ho... after a while. That is from some old comedy sketch or movie years back. And here we are full circle laughing once again. I spelled damn, dam, so it I wasn't really cursing. Did it work? Or did you think I was tricking myself and you......Curse is a curse no matter how you spell it. So did you learn anything from my post? How to make a fool of yourself banging on a pan in public. Or how to shock the sheit out of your ugly family members so they act nicer to you! Oops did I spell shit wrong? Yes and on purpose cause cursing causes curses. So don't curse yourself no matter what the birds or your family do. Take care of yourself better. Now do you get it?
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