Saturday, May 23, 2009

Give Me My Wits Back...by Diane Ogden





Lets start with the definition of "wits." The basic human power of intelligent thought and perception;I would prefer to put more beautiful pictures of myself in LITTLE black dresses on my blog as you noticed in the previous post.......but it's back to reality. I got the wits scared out of me yesterday. As you know I have a Green Cleaning Business in Madison Wisconsin. We were cleaning for a new client when I noticed a very bright orange and yellow plane flying far too low to be safe. It looked rather like a seaplane. Humm why would a seaplane be flying just over the treetops on land. Oh my God is it a kook? A suicide bomber?Has Korea finally infiltrated America? How will they talk the nutcase down? As it made its swoops back and forth getting closer to the house I am in, my wits started to get progressively more startled. That plane was sooo loud it felt like bone shaken syndrome. My new name for localized fear. More likely it was just the generalize anxiety disorder some doctor said I have/had. Well I had it yesterday. I tried to determine if I would be safer on the top floor or the basement floor if this suicide bomber decided on that particular house and street to lay himself out. I never really went into why me? I decided neither up or down would be so good and went outside to inquire what was the situation. So far my estimation of it was all bad and loud and getting more outlandish. Such as, well this would be better than a nursing home like Auntie.... But I don't really want to suffer so make it good, and on and on.... Yes the disorder was taking over. I shouted with restrain, "Does anyone know what is going on?" No I didn't let on I was abashed with inner horror....I am good at hiding it, it think. The man shouted back, "They are spraying for gypsy moths!" I just stood there for a moment gathering my wits back.... Then I thought, "Just duckie! Here I am doing my part for society and the planet cleaning all natural, Green, and I pic this day to be on this street getting sprayed with chemicals as though I were nothing more than a gypsy moth in a tree. How little we really are in the scheme of life. And I thought someone was trying to kill me off. I was right! My John Edwards psychic ability came through once again.... and once again I survived my own story. Which I can always laugh at afterwards. Maybe I should work on that. If you have read any of my blog stories you know I have many more lives than my cat! This one is true though....or is it?
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