Thursday, September 4, 2008

I Forgot My Bra

Just call me "Fern."
The Stamp says, "Go Bra pulls the wrinkles out of your face!" That is if the girls weigh enough to make that happen. Obviously mine don't because I still got carded at the grocery store when all I wanted was a bottle of Scotch and some chocolate to finish out this day. When they try to card me I just point at the new addition of "JOWLS" on my face.... and I say, "Here is my date of birth dude teller person, and underneath all this is another mud slide."
OK back to the "I forgot my bra." I got up early this morning and threw on my clothes minus one cross your heart bra because it was take the dog out time, not cinch up your chest time . It was raining, so I grabbed the huge AFLAC umbrella and carried the dog out under her favorite poddie tree. She felt a few drops of that rain water and ran directly back to the door where she has deposited on poddie pads vs grass all day. Then I checked my emails, made my bag lunch, coffee, and put some makeup on.... Time passed quickly so I grabbed my purse, keys, gave the dog her treat, and went to my car and drove to my job. It wasn't until a half hour at work when I realized I had no bra on. Now fifteen years ago that would have been fine. It "ain't" so fine this year.... And to TOP it all off, all puns intended, it was cold out today. She here I was in sandals, no socks, no bra, and freezing nips showing their cute little sagging noses. Then I remembered the Ralph Lauren zip up sweatshirt in the car....YES<> YES! I never told anyone I went to work without my bra and don't ever intend to. I wonder if it's Freudian. I used to have dreams when I was a little girl that I would get to school and discover I forgot my underwear. Now that has to be Freudian. Just call me Fern when I mess up.
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