How To Make Your Own Bacon Roses (Gallery) : theCHIVE

How To Make Your Own Bacon Roses (Gallery) : theCHIVE

Pennies From Heaven at Wells Fargo! .....by Diane Ogden

As you recall, the Grand and her friend and I took all my change I have saved for almost three years to the big Green Coin Machine at Hells Gates of Wal Mart.  When I found out they would charge me a service fee of .10 cents on the dollar I said, "No Way Hosea!"  
Today I took all the change to Wells Fargo.  A nice young man Jonathan helped me carry it all in.  I asked the tellers if they wanted to take bets on how much but was told they aren't allowed to gamble or bet at the bank.  I thought that was funny.   Angie and Jonathan took all my money into a side room where the noise began and lasted a long time.  Angie came out and asked me how much I thought I had.
I said, "Ooohhh, $350 -$400.  I really thought $450-$500 but decided to play back.  She told me it was already past that and there were bags left!  I got giddy....  When the tinkling stopped she walked out and said, $763. 43 cents....how would you like that?  I said, "HUNDREDS PLEASE MAAM!"   
                       Now that is some happy news for today.   

Be Safe, Be Well, Be Happy, and by God BE RICH. I am.    Actually I had saved that money for a pair of Bvlgari designer eye glasses and discovered this weekend they have been discontinued.  I saved too long.

Pennies From Heaven? by Diane Ogden

Wherever they come from I save them, and nickels, and dimes, and quarters.  I have bags and vases and urns full.  Yesterday my Grand and her friend came to visit.  We decided to take all the bags, vases and urns to Wal Mart to their handy dandy coin into bills machine.  I did ponder whether China might not try to "fix" the machine so they could keep part of my three year coin collection.  But the bank was closed so I swallowed fear once again and headed the the infamous W a l M a r t from hell.  First we had to use the abandoned grocery cart from my parking garage.  No this isn't a trailer park and I am glad someone abandoned it because the darn thing comes in handy sometimes.  Like when I am transferring coins in bags vases and urns to China.  We get all the bags, vases, and urns into the back seat on the floor.  One tire is sitting low at this point.  We all climb in and truck to the gates of hell where the girls find a new non abandoned grocery cart and once again transfer the money from the floor of the back seat of the Buick to the cart.  And in we go.  The three of us just stood facing the huge green money monster machine with blank expressions of "Huh, what to we do now? We're all smarter than fifth graders!"  We read the instructions which doesn't offer what the small service fee will be.  This is where the smarter than a fifth grader comes in handy.  I stopped one of the foreign (nothing against foreign long as they can speak English and don't take my job!) return clerks and asked her what the "machine" from Sam Walton's greedy kids now charges to TAKE my change and give me bills.  It was when she said, "Whose Bill?" that is when I knew we were headed back to the car for sure.  And then she said we would be charged 10 cents on a dollar.  I said, "WHAT?"  Kind of sort of loudly. Then I said, " Bill says that's robbery!"  That is when we decided we should take our cart and run before they called security or the greeter.  Both scary. I would have been aobut $50 short had I paid the small service fee!  We get to the car and my Grand lifts the largest bag of coins up up and over the cart only to have it burst open at the seam of the heavy duty baggie and spread itself on Hells Gates assphalt parking area directly next to the Buick. We all three again just stook there starring at the mound of coins spread about.  I think we must have thought there might be a stampede headed in our direction because we all went into 0-60 instant overdrive.  I give the girls each a latex glove from the trunk and a whisk broom.  They got every penny, nickel, dime, and quarter with the exception of one penny stuck under the Buick tire, which I forgot to get it after I backed out!!  And if you can only imagine I forgot to take even one photo of this fiasco.  Even I am shocked at that.  I was looking for a photo online of spilled coins but couldn't find even one.  That is when I ran into the beautiful floors made from pennies. I even saw a shower floor made of nickels.  Isn't that illegal?  I am now re-thinking turning my pennies in.  I may turn my old oak table top into a glass covered collection of pennies or nickels. Or I may re-do my sofa table or my headboard, or my counter tops.  One never knows what I will do next when the creative bug hits.  I have been saving that money for a long time for a new pair of designer Bvlgari rimless frames for me face!  As of now the coins are still in the back seat on the floor waiting to go to the bank.  Not sure how I will get them inside unless there is a grocery cart somewhere on site.  Will let you know.  Until then.....Be Safe, Be Happy, Be Well, and hey, Be Rich!

The DMV..... by Diane Ogden

The daughter's car broke down far far away.  Anyplace would be far far away if a vehicle needs to be towed home.  I pondered this "titanic" situation for ten minutes, then made the call to the step Dad holding in all forms of any sort or drama or emotions.  He is a "Viet Nam Vet x-user of the beverage" which means all must remain calm at all times no matter what.  So I did.  The result was his stepping up and handling.  Never did I expect him to step so high up as to tow it, pay all repair charges which equalled $1,100.00.  Alternator, battery cables, fuel pump, and all new valve cover gaskets!! New keys.  Meantime I am at the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles that has nothing on WalMart) getting a new title and registration  because daughter just cant remember why it isn't in the glove box.  The DMV was packed.  Every chair was filled.  Children were scampering about and boobs were prominently exposed as well as many  a man's beer belly present.  I was I-790.  There were ten I's ahead of me and at least 50 C's, D's, and H's.
I left my two workers alone to get this little job completed.  I expected it to take me an hour.  Try two!
And here's the killer!  When I finally got up to the counter and asked for a copy of the registration because its illegal in Wisconsin not to have it in the glove box.  The teller told me, "You don't need a copy of the registration in your glove box. It's not illegal in Wisconsin."  This means I left my workers alone for two hours which cost me extra......I paid for a title with no registration copy for no reason. I have the title somewhere in my possession.  I just couldn't find it that night and the step dad said I had to have it.  So...I guess for the $1,100 price tag I could hush about my two hour forfeit in time at the DMV slash WalMart side kick.  I would say that is GOOD NEWS.  A free car tow and total repair. The moon and stars and all Gods were on my side that day.  On the daughters side too.... being car-less isn't a good thing.  That sounds close to care-less now doesn't it?   Not sure the reference, just noticed it.  I was thinking we should never be careless with our cars or we could be car-less.  Doi. 
Be Happy, Be Safe, Be Well......  and find some good news and send it to me! 

The Trapeze Artist ......by Diane Ogden

 My Grandmothers third husband,  is that fellow with no pants on!  He worked for Barnum and Bailey Circus as a trapeze artist back in the 1930's.  And the little girl on the far right is my Mother. They called her Babe (some still do) but she prefers Alta.  Mother is 81 this year and looks like she is 61.  The lady in the dark pants in front is my Aunt Louella who has passed.  Who cares huh?  I know I know.  I just get a "kick" out of my Grandma marrying a carnie!  I mean come on a carnie?  Those guys scare me.  You know the ones at the local small town fairs running the rigged booths with no teeth, greasy hair, tatoos, and more tattoos.  Back in the 30's the circus consisted of the three legged calf, the fat lady, the midget, trick dogs, hoopers, jugglers, unicyclers, clowns and the main event....the trapeze folks. Whalla, enters one of the Step Grandfathers.  I don't care, I wasn't even born.  BUT here comes the big deal story....   It's 1973ish and I am jet-setting with some of the cities finest when a local judge and descendant of the infamous never known trapeze third husband of my mother's mother with same name "hits" on me hard.  Okay sorry for the lack of a better word.  I am proud to say I refused considering he was married and he was also the judge that decreed me my first and only divorce at that time.  Move onto 50 years from the Barnum and Bailey to 1987.  Same judge......same name.....his daughter, three generations later, introduces me to the devil in a five piece suit with blue eyes and a silver tongue.  One year later the world produced a child indirectly from that trapeze artist, yet of the 1930 Barnum and Bailey Circus right into my life.  I call that spooky connections = and it just keeps on a comin.'

The Lady With the Checkered Past......by Diane Ogden

We all come from somewhere, rather said, "The way we were and now are!"  Listen, I have many sides to my past and present.  Good, Bad, and Ugly!  I have some rich farmers on my side.  I have some floozies on my side, I have some circus folks hiding back there, I have some drunks, wait a lot of drunks in the bloodside background, most of whom are in the ground.  I have some fancy pants people in the background, Grandad Linley.I have a bear killer named Nana Pat see photo. I have a few criminals even.  A murderer from the 1800's, Great Great Uncle Henry.  A dancing man from the 1980's, Uncle Elm.  A sweet sweet uncle name Emil, and a Super wonderful Grannie named Tillie.  Grandpa Emil doing prison time in Leavenworth (for moon shining). You go Grandpa, make that moonshine the government said no no no to! Some losers along the way, some never to forget along the way. And many lessons learned from the research and photos and stories and memories of my own.  I know it doesn't look or sound funny. But wait till you see the photo of the floozies.  I cant spell that!  The carnies, (couldn't find photo) how bout that?  I'd say I am darn well rounded..... check out my other Grannie MoMo BELOW...I miss her...

So Be Well, Be Happy, Be Safe until the Lady With the Checkered Past returns......LOL and OMG

Funny? by Diane Ogden

I tried all day to find some good news or something funny. I even went to WalMart in search of fun and news.  Now that is really sick come to think of it.  Even so...there was nothing fun or funny there today. Imagine that.
I searched my mind for funny, nothin'.   It was just one of those days where nothing was funny. 
Maybe tomorrow! 
Until then, Be Safe, Be Happy, and Be Well!~   Now that's good news!! 
funnyphoto from:  graphicsgrotto.com

"The Project"...........by Diane Ogden

Do you see anything wrong with the picture?  Let me say that I have used ban saws, jigs, done every sort of craft know to man but this little project of five pieces, I found a way to mess up.   The top board is facing backward.  I only had three screws in when I discovered this error so backward I went unscrewing the three long screws from the formaldehyde pressed Chinese boards knowing this would cause it to not be as sturdy considering the "used" holes.  I then pounded the little white covers over the screw heads with the end of the screwdriver because I seem to have lost my handy hammer.  I live in three rooms!  Where oh where has the little hammer gone?  Whatever, it worked.  I carry the closet maid shelf project to my bathroom to set it next to the other two I bought at a used store. Obviously I didn't measure them.
"The Project" shelf is two inches taller than the other two yet identical in all other areas.  So I figured the other two must have come from Shopco and my project shelf came from Target. So I put mine in the center and it looks marvelous darling.   I am back in business. 

The good news for today is I am upright and heading to the stores to re-vamp one of those old fashioned ceiling fans with those dumb hanging lites!  Yup I already removed the lites and frilly fixtures.  Will let you know what I come up with.  Dynamite and a field would be good. But I don't own it so I cant kill it. 

Until later, Be Happy, Be Well, and Be Safe!

The Marvelous Memory of the Maple Creme Egg......by Diane Ogden

Who cares huh?  When I was a child I loved maple anything.  Maple syrup, maple cookies, and I stabbed the bottom of every piece of chocolate in the huge box at Christmas with a knife until I found the maple piece.  After a few years I learned it was always the round one with one swirl almost full circle but not quite.  I loved maple frosting, maple ice cream, maple candy drops, maple flavored hickory smoked bacon, maple oatmeal, maple flavored brussell sprouts, and lollipops!   The chocolate cake with maple flavored fluffy frosting was the killer deal. And of course the maple cream Easter egg. I quit eating all that sugary maple many years ago, and then something happened to me today. Maybe it was a maple demon.
I had to run to the Walgreen's for some plastic jugged water and some tummy pills.  Change of season always messes with a touchy tummy.  Back to my point.  There it was, at least a hundred Russell Stover Cream Eggs spread out over a half of isle 3, third shelf up right at eye level.  Didn't even need to bend over.  Wont be able to bend over if I don't stay away from said isle.  I scanned each little box searching for the word maple.  I found butter creme, peanut butter creme, coconut, vanilla, peach, lemon, orange, chocolate, and finally  ("drum roll please") there it lay among thirty other ones.  I just stared at them in awe thinking don't do it, don't do it.  Of course I was going to do it!  I didn't scan the entire length of that shelf for nothing.  It was a lousy memory that caused this moment of weakness or the maple demon. I reached into the box and took one out.  Then I took out another one.  That = two!  I told myself I would take one bite and put it away when I got outside and into my car.  But what I really did was eat the whole thing before I got out the driveway and up to the first light.  I tried to savor it and move it around my taste buds for a long time but it didn't work.  My brain went into maple overdrive and it was history.  Do recall I have another one!  I truly doubt I will enter the Walgreen's again until after Easter because I am a maple flavored failure. I will say since the last Maple flavored Russell Stover Creme egg I ate, which was twenty some plus years ago.......Mr Stover has changed the consistency of the maple creme.  It is now filled with air.  It is spongy and thin.  Used to be thick and creamy.  Not so much no more.  Wonder if that means it has less killer calories and may not clog my heart arteries!  Right! The good news:  I enjoyed the heck out of that spongy maple air thing.

So Be Happy, Be Well, and Be Safe until we meet again.  And if we don't, you'll know what happened.  (I am not going to have a maple flavored heart attack) Just kidding

An Active Day it WAS!.....by Diane Ogden

Today was wonderful only because I am still upright and sane. Even tho some days are insane.
1- I half-promised the tenant upstairs that if he cleaned up the large puddle of bright green paint in the elevator that he would be compensated $30.00.  You see the staff was off all weekend and this would not be considered an emergency. That is unless a dog or person stepped in it and tracked it out onto the carpet which could cost hundreds to thousands. 
2-  I inquired to man upstairs today to see if office maintenance had contacted him regarding his Sunday clean up kindness.  His wife told me they offered him a $10 gift certificate.  The wife told them thanks but no thanks, just put a star by our name.  (I was so embarrassed) Yet we did laugh at their inadequacy.
3-  My Granddaughter called me screaming with out of control tears falling because her irresponsible boyfriend spent all their money by not paying the rent or the electric and forgot to pay his child support for a year, yup I said one year! Sooo, they took his Tax Refund which was to come to MWAH for loaning them the $ for a down payment on their new little homey home.  Yup truth. Swellers.

4-  My soap is a re-run due to the news conference that replaced it at its regular time earlier today.  (I watch it in the evening when it is re-run.)  This time was truly re-run.  Its my escape from reality which I did not get today.
5-  My friend Peter called and wants me to come see his new store he rented for $230 a month in a building on a backstreet.  He told me he cant figure out why he never sees anyone there.  I say it's probably a front for drug runners.  Guess I'll find out tomorrow.
6-  Esther, remember of Esther and the Colonel comedies.  Well Esther wants me to sell Arrbonne or however its spelled.  She sort of orders me to sell it.  And so I told her she was being bossy.  But other than that I will never sell that product ever never Esther.  She wanted to get me to be friends with her daughter who is Nester and now selling Arrbonne and right out of "One Few Over the CooCoo's Nest," except that one should have landed and stayed there.  I have rights of free speech....
7-  My dog pooped on the carpet.  Thank God it was not loose! 
8-  It's Super Tuesday and I do not want to watch an update regarding, as its been an awful campaign so far.
9-  One of my clients gave me one of the old humongous black TV's for one of my Grands and its too heavy for me so it's sitting in my back seat all comfy cozy until who knows when.  Using gas!
10- I went to sign into  http://www.flickr.com/ and they no longer know me they say.  And my photos are somewhere lost in cyber space.  Actually the one I needed for yesterdays blogpost. 
11- My daughter called to see what dis-orders we have running through the family tree.  That was fun to dredge up from the ancestry bowels.  But I did it.
The Good News?  My home didn't blow away from the attack of the tornado's from hell, none of my children died by drowning, avalanche, tornado, cancer, or any other means. I am standing, well not right now but I am able to, I have food, shelter, and love.  I love me most of the time. 
So until we meet again,
Be Happy, (no matter if the dog poops on the carpet, or if flickr lost your photos, or if your family has disorders because everyone has a disorder of some sort, and rest assured my soap will be on again tomorrow, and thank God for a caring friend like Esther, and the nice man upstairs would have cleaned up the paint for nothing! His KARMA's comin'......and so on) Be Well, and Be Safe!

photo from http://www.psychologytoday.com/

Riding in the Back of a Pick-Up Truck........by Diane Ogden

TO ALL WHO SURVIVED THE
1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!  Or no matter what your age!
This is an email forward I rec'd that will be interesting to allwho have not rec'd it before this, and a great reminder to those who have. ( I have a photo of myself at a  young age standing by my 1961 Catalina Convertable. Do you think I can find it! No...so here's one from online without me in it. 

First, we survived being born to mothers
Who smoked and/or drank while they were
Pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing,
Tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles,
Locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode
Our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.
As infants & children,
We would ride in cars with no car seats,
No booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.
Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day
Was always a special treat.
We drank water
From the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends,
From one bottle and no one actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon..
We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar.
And, we weren't overweight.
WHY?
Because we were
Always outside playing...that's why!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day,
As long as we were back when the
Streetlights came on.
No one was able
To reach us all day. And, we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps
And then ride them down the hill, only to find out
We forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes
a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have PlayStations, Nintendo's and X-boxes.
There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable,
No video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's,
No cell phones, No personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.
WE HAD FRIENDS
And we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth
And there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt,
And the worms did not live in us
 Forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
Made up games with sticks and tennis balls and,
Although we were told it would happen,
We did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and
Knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just
Walked in and talked to them.
 Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn't had to learn to deal
With disappointment.
 Imagine that!!
idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law
Was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best
Risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.
The past 50 years
Have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility,
and we learned how to deal with it all.
If YOU are one of them?
CONGRATULATIONS!
To all who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the
lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives
for our own good .

The quote of the
month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control,
mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms
tearing up the country from one end to another,
and with the threat of swine flu
and terrorist attacks.
Are we sure this is a good time
to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

My Begonia's a Wolf in Sheeps Petals.......by Diane Ogden

So this looks like "Grannieville's" ass-isted living hallway does it not?  Well it is NOT!  It is although the hallway outside my door at my complex.  No not a prison complex.
At the local grocer store they were selling these precious little Begonia's.  $2.99 no kidding.  And after the last snowstorm after the other last snowstorm I was totally into a yellow and Pinky-Red Be-gonia!   Brought them home and put them in my front facing West window. 
LuLu cat immediately went for the biggest bloom and took a munch.  I screamed for my Granddaughter to grab those plants I am not sure if they are POISON!  She grabbed them, scaring LuLu off before she could consume the bloom. 
I proceed to Google and type in the search "are begonia's poison to cats?"    Oh yeah!!  They are not only poison, they damage the animals organs and burn their mouth and throat as they go down.  So.....they are now sitting in the hallway waiting for my son to come for his daughter and take the two $2.99 reminders of Spring home to their home. 
The Good News for today is I did not have to run to the Emergency Vet on the weekend and add go my already half paid off last vet bill.  Nor did I have to possibly pay for the cremation of said cat LuLu who loves to eat roses and got confused.  A begonia looks like a rose, but its a wolf in sheep's petals! 
Be Happy, Be Safe, and Be Well until next time.

Where Have all the Fireplaces Gone? ..... by Diane Ogden

I cant help but notice over the past few years and as I watch HGTV make-overs ..... 
Where have all the real fireplaces gone?  Who isn't thinking?  Maybe it's just me, NOT! I am one of the few that is thinking outside America's little perfect world box.  I have not taken to storing water and dry packets of food, although I did purchase a case of Healthy Choice sodium (hello-joke) soup to have on hand in case of something such as a huge storm that takes out the electricity for a week.  Or an Iranian bomb that takes out my electricity but leaves me either too cold or too hot.....  And if too cold??  I have no fireplace.  Oh I have a gas run fireplace that needs electricity.  There is a handy little switch plate on the wall that turns her on! (P.S. That doesn't work with humans so forget that joke) If the bad storm came or the Iranian bomb and I had my case of sodium chicken soup in the storage bin downstairs along with a few gallons of bottled water.....I would not be able to heat it up in my electric operated gas fireplace under glass.  Nope, ninety percent of humans would be chit up the creek backwards.  But then if the Iran bomb hit it might not matter.  The storm is a different story.... I am always looking for people who are smarter than average which means they still have a real fireplace that burns real wood in case of Iran.  Or an electrical storm, ice storm, tornado, governmental shut down, (just kidding), America's perfect with all its folks driving SUV's to work paying no attention to the fact they have no way to keep warm or heat their food should there be an emergency.  Humm maybe if they have huge SUV gas hogs they can afford generators.  Anyone taking bets on that? I also pray the bomb hits the banks so all those poor folks with the huge SUV's don't have to pay it all back. Me, I don't owe anyone and I also know I cant fix anything because I am not in politics, nor am I a millionaire, so .....Be Happy, Be Safe, and Be Well until we meet again...

Onions on My Counter Make me Live?.................... by Diane Ogden

(Bill Patchett's Photos)(I GOT THIS ARTICLE IN MY EMAIL BOX)

ONIONS! I had never heard this!!!
In 1919 when the flu killed 40 million people there was this Doctor that visited the many farmers to see if he could help them combat the flu... Many of the farmers and their families had contracted it and many died.

The doctor came upon this one farmer and to his surprise, everyone was very healthy. When the doctor asked what the farmer was doing that was different the wife replied that she had placed an unpeeled onion in a dish in the rooms of the home, (probably only two rooms back then). The doctor couldn't believe it and asked if he could have one of the onions and place it under the microscope. She gave him one and when he did this, he did find the fluvirus in the onion. It obviously absorbed the bacteria, therefore, keeping
the family healthy.

Now, I heard this story from my hairdresser.
She said that several years ago, many of her employees were coming down with the flu, and so were
 many of her customers. The next year she placed several bowls with onions around in her shop. To her surprise, none of her staff got sick. It must work. Try it and see what happens. We did it last year and we never got the flu.

Now there is a P. S. to this for I sent it to a friend in Oregon who regularly contributes material to me on
health issues. She replied with this most interesting experience about onions.
Thanks for the reminder. I don't know about the farmer's story...but, I do know that I contacted pneumonia, and, needless to say, I was very ill... I came across an article that said to cut both ends off an onion put it into an empty jar, and place the jar next to the sick patient at night. It said the onion would be black in the morning from the germs...sure enough it happened just like that...the onion was a mess and I began to feel better.
Another thing I read in the article was that onions and garlic placed around the room saved many from the black plague years ago. They have powerful antibacterial, antiseptic properties.

This is the other note. Lots of times when we have stomach problems we don't know what to blame.
Maybe it's the onions that are to blame. Onions absorb bacteria is the reason they are so good at preventing us from getting colds and flu and is the very reason we shouldn't eat an onion
that has been sitting for a time after it has been cut open.

LEFT OVER ONIONS ARE POISONOUS
I had the wonderful privilege of touring Mullins Food Products, Makers of mayonnaise. Questions about food poisoning came up, and I wanted to share what I learned from a chemist. Ed, who was our tour guide, is a food chemistry whiz. During the tour, someone asked if we really needed to worry about mayonnaise. People are always worried that mayonnaise will spoil. Ed's answer will surprise you. Ed said that all commercially-made mayo is completely safe.
 "It doesn't even have to be refrigerated. No harm in refrigerating it, but it's not really necessary." He explained that the pH in mayonnaise is set at a point that bacteria could not survive in that environment. He then talked about the summer picnic, with the bowl of potato salad sitting on the table, and how everyone blames the mayonnaise when someone gets sick. Ed says that, when food poisoning is reported, the first thing the officials look for is when the 'victim' last ate ONIONS and where those onions came from (in the potato salad?). Ed says it's not the mayonnaise (as long as it's not homemade mayo) that spoils in the outdoors. It's probably the ONIONS, and if not the onions, it's the POTATOES. He explained onions are a huge magnet for bacteria, especially uncooked onions. You should never plan to keep a portion of a sliced onion.. He says it's not even safe if you put it in a zip-lock bag and put it in your refrigerator. It's already contaminated enough just by being cut open and out for a bit, that it can be a danger to you (and doubly watch out for those onions you put in your hotdogs at the baseball park!).  Ed says if you take the leftover onion and cook it like crazy you'll probably be okay, but if you slice that leftover onion and put on your sandwich, you're asking for trouble. Both the onions and the moist potato in a potato salad, will attract and grow bacteria faster than any commercial mayonnaise will even begin to break down.
 Also, dogs should never eat onions. Their stomachs cannot metabolize onions. Please remember it is dangerous to cut an onion and try to use it to cook the next day, it becomes highly poisonous for even a single night and creates toxic bacteria which may cause adverse stomach infections because of excess bile secretions and even food poisoning.
Be Happy, Be Well, and Be Safe until we meet again.....

Davy Died?.......by Diane Ogden

Jeez I have been walking around singing "Hey Hey We're the Monkeys,....."  all day.  Among other Monkey songs.  Sure heck yah I remember him.  Duh he is me and you.  Well me age anyway.  I saw an insert commercial saying women still recall him and his sex appeal to this day.  Meaning they will recall him long after death.  I was thinking as I was sitting alone, well not alone, the two cats and one dog reside nearby.   I was thinking as the commercial ran for "We will buy your old gold and silver," that I wondered who would remember my sex appeal when I croaked, or any of my attributes.  Do you ever think about what anyone will think of you when you die?  Do you wonder who will even know you died and attend the quote FUN-eral! Will you linger on golden streets and be allowed to watch over previous relatives? Me too I wondered.  I really have thought of that but not continually of course. Back to the Monkey that passed away.  Darn.  He was too young to die.  But what do I know about whose time is when.  I think I will go get a physical next week.  ha.
What does ha stand for? Does ha mean ha-ppy?  Or does ha - mean what? 
Jeez the happy news for today is I didn't pass away to somewhere we don't know where is,
And NOR DID YOU!!
So Be Happy, Be Well, and Be Safe until we meet again.  (I read somewhere Dale Evans and Roy Rogers used to say that "Until we meet again ." )  Rest in Peace Davey Jones and many others.  Not me yet tho.....or you

Worms or Pine Nuts.......by Diane Ogden

This would be a small section of my kitchen counter.  My Toshiba Notepad, my one tomato, one lemon, and one half a banana. My daily positive sayings calendar, and one small bag of fresh expensive pine nuts.  Pine nuts have the highest amount of protein of any nut and protein is something I need due to a bit of hypo glycemia streamin' through me veins on occasion.  One of the Grand Twins walked into my kitchen and said, "What are these? Worms!!"  I am a kind and gentle person most of the time but at that nano second in life time I wanted to say and do things almost illegal and here is why.  You all recall I live by association.  I cant eat dates because they feel like beetles or cockroaches going in and down and around.  I cant eat rare meat because it reminds me of the trauma I experienced when my father used to show me dead and mutilated mice hanging from a trap all bloody.  He meant no harm I am sure.  He enjoyed seeing me scream and jump up and down in total panic on my twin bed.  Farmers! shhesssh.  There's more but surely you get it by now.  I posted a blog called "The Umbilical Cord" showing said cord on a raw egg sitting in a pan ready to cook.  Nope cant eat the cord cause it started out to be a chicklet....  eeeww.   Betcha get it? Those expensive pine nuts shall never enter my facial orifice because my brain will tell my brain each little one of those is a worm.  
                                 Ooohweey Goooweey was a worm,
                                     A mighty worm was he.
                                He sat upon the railroad tracks.......
                                    Ooohweey, Goooweey!!
Anyone remember that silly poem from grade school?  Not sure we even jumped rope to that one.
There shall be no Ooohweey Gooweey in my mouth until I forget this and I do forget more lately than ever so there is hope.  Whatever is wrong with my brain I do wish I knew because this  association crud gets old... I like dates or beetles whichever. They just have to be smushed up in a cookie then I'm okay.  Mother said when I was little I used to make mud pies and she caught me eating a worm one time.  Why in the name of good sense would she tell me that.  Now I can add one more thing to the blame mommie list.  Yuk :(
I realize this is not good news and I am suppposed to find good news every day here.
Some good news no one will care about is:
Got my shower
Ate some angel hair spaghetti (cant eat the real thick stuff, looks like worms)
Dog is in heat yukkie doo
Cats fighting over who gets the cat tree in the sun
Can't find the apps on my smart phone but I WiLL
Happy Happy Day I say, the sun is out and I'm on me way !
Be Happy, Be Well, Be safe......

Shopping, Then the Awards......by Diane Ogden

Sometimes working can become hum drum mundane and we have to do something to stop that, move it, change it, bring it up up up, back to a glass half full.  So in my little corner of the world that meant leaving the dog and two cats to run off to Wal Mart for a paint brush and a pair of chinese made pants.  Then onto T.J.Max for a facial rejuvenator double AA battery running exfoliatre doo da day.  As well as some duck sticks for the dog and some catnip still on the vine for the cats. Must be like buying tomatoes on the vine. And one silver necklace for
M W A H! I love it.  Oh and a new teflon pan because I have apparently eatin' much of the last one. At least the bottom of it tells that tale.
I get home, take the dog out, unpack he groceries before the Oscar Awards begin....I take a tad of the catnip off the stem and crush it between my fingers per instructions and give it cat # 1 while crushing catnip for cat # 2.  I look over and cat # 1 has saliva stringing from her mouth onto fur and floor.  This would tell me the taste is bad bad bad....over the top of the top.  I only saw her do that one other time when I applied her revolution (for flees, ticks) down too far on her neck and she licked it.  OMG I thought she would die....and here we go again.  I quickly got some treats for her to take away the horrid taste or whatever it was making her salivate so badly.  She survived.  I think because God knew I needed her to because it was Sunday evening and emergency vets cost a new car.  Maybe I should eat some of that "stuff " on the viney stalky plant.  Then again how what that look with me salivating all over the living room carpet then running around looking for something to eat to counteract it.  That is after I have rejuvenated my face with the rejuvenater double AA battery doo da day.  Good looking face lift with saliva hanging from it. NOT!  The  awards are about over so I am going to sign off til later.  Except I have to say, "What was Angelina Jolie thinking when she blatantly STUCK her leg out of her dress slit like a dummie-slut over and over and over. "  I hear her leg now has its own twitter page.  Her leg looked like a skinny mayonnaise jar. At least spray tan for the awards hey.
What's the good news of the day?   I did not try the catnip still on the stalk, and the cat survived and I feel much better about going to work this week after watching Jolie act like she needed more attention. 
You all be happy, be well, and be safe until next time....